Exposed
by Syncop8ed Rhythm
Summary: It was Juliet who discovered his secret. Of course it was. Now, he's lost his job and his friends.  And when he is kidnapped by someone looking for revenge against the SBPD, Shawn might just lose his life, too...
1. Chapter 1

AN: Hey! Here's my new story! This is going to be a bit darker than my other stories. I've got it marked T, but I might move it up to M in the later chapters.

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Shawn stood still, studying the Psych office. It was evening, and the setting sun cast deep shadows across the room. He had long ago memorized the layout, where each knick-knack rested on the desks and shelves. He had always felt like this office was a second home. So many things had happened here: cases closed, friends made…

It was over.

Of course it was Juliet who discovered his secret. Of course. He had done everything he could to keep his secret from her. He was going to tell her, just not yet. He hadn't found a way to break it to her. But he was too late. One innocent comment and his life had been destroyed. He had lost Psych-the job he had grown to love, that challenged him, and that was never boring. He had lost the trust and respect of his friends and colleagues. Gus…well, he wasn't sure what was going on with Gus. He had pretty much lost his pharmaceutical job when the scandal broke and was doing everything he could to hang onto his position with that company. Shawn had a feeling something may have broken in their friendship, if they even _had _a friendship anymore. Maybe if Gus was able to save his job, then they would be okay…

His father…his father was angry, no doubt about that. He'd lost his job at the station. All three of them were facing charges, but Shawn was sure he would be able to clear Gus and Henry. At least he really, really hoped so.

Lassiter was beyond angry, though he wasted no opportunity to point out that he had been right; Shawn _was _a fraud.

And Juliet…_oh Jules. _He had never, ever wanted to hurt her. He had long ago learned he would do anything to protect Juliet. He had thought it would be something drastic, like take a bullet for her, but now he realized he would do anything to rescue her from this pain, from his lie.

He had a meeting with the Chief tomorrow, to plead his case and clear Gus and Henry. It would be an absolute miracle if Shawn didn't face any jail time. He honestly did not think he would be able to handle jail. In fact, he was certain it could possibly drive him crazy; that knowledge that he was confined…He suppressed a shiver at the thought. He couldn't run. He had to stay and face the consequences, hoping it would be enough to begin making amends.

He wasn't ready to give up Juliet. He loved her, more than his own life.

The sound of the door opening caught his attention, and he turned to look at whoever it was walking through the door. He hoped it was Gus or even his father. He shook off the disappointment when he saw a man he didn't recognize walking towards him. The man had brown hair to his shoulders, was roughly 5' 8" and had blue eyes. Shawn frowned; there was something in the man's gaze that gave him pause.

"I'm sorry; we're not open," Shawn said, gaze narrowing at the man who was now openly studying him.

"I'm not here for a case," the man said absently, cocking his head to the side as he continued to stare at Shawn.

"Then is there something I can do for you?" Shawn asked, letting impatience enter his voice.

"Yes, I do believe there is, Shawn," the man said, a smile breaking across his face.

"Do I know you?" It wasn't a pleasant smile. In fact, it only made Shawn feel even more uncomfortable.

"Not yet. But you will."

_Okay, I think I reached my quota for creepiness today._ "I'm going to have to ask you to leave," Shawn said. His phone started ringing and Shawn held the man's gaze until he started walking away. He didn't take his eyes off of the man until he reached for his cell-phone.

It was a mistake. His hand closed around the phone just as he saw the stranger come running back towards him. He dropped the phone, hands coming up to block the man's attack. It was too little too late. His hand flew to his neck, trying to pull out the needle the man had jabbed into him.

"Wh-what?" Shawn asked, confused, as his whole body turned numb. When the numbness spread, his legs gave out and he fell to the floor. Shawn looked up at the man, anger and fear mixing in his expression. His eyes started to close and he tried to force them open, tried to fight the darkness that was encroaching on his vision. But it was a losing battle. His eyes closed once more…and he couldn't open them again.

…

"Shawn…It's time to wake up."

The voice seemed to come from a great distance, and it was easy for Shawn to ignore it. He just wanted to sink back into oblivion.

"Come on, Shawn. Wake up."

Whoever it was that was talking to him was now tapping his face in an annoyingly persistent manner. Well, that was rude. Where did he know that voice from?

"_Do I know you?" _

"_Not yet. But you will."_

Shawn's eyes flew open, landing on the man standing in front of him.

"Ah, there you are. Good morning!"

_What the…? _

"You've been out for a while, Shawn, but we can finally get started."

Shawn shifted, trying to get away from the man. Nothing happened, though, when he tried to stand, and he looked down in confusion. He swallowed when he realized his arms were tied tightly to the sides of the chair, his legs and ankles tied just as securely. His gaze snapped back up to the man, fear coursing through him as the man smiled at him. "What do you want?" Shawn asked, looking around the room carefully. There was a computer, and the camera that sat on a tripod several feet in front of him warned him that whatever the man wanted was definitely not pleasant. There was a window and a door…was he in a cabin? His eyes froze on the table-more like a long workbench-when he saw the chains and handcuffs attached to it.

The man followed his gaze and chuckled, "Don't worry about that yet. That will be for some of our final sessions."

"I'm sure whatever you've got planned will be fascinating, but if you'll excuse me, I have a very important meeting I need to get to."

"The one at nine o'clock?"

Shawn felt his eyes widen; how did he know?

"Afraid you'll miss it. It's already 9:30 anyways."

Shawn hung his head, swearing silently. He had promised to attend that meeting and this psycho had screwed up Shawn's one chance to clear Gus and his father of any charges. His anger burned his fear away and he glared at the man. "What do you want?" He spat out.

He watched the man breathe deeply, gathering his thoughts as he started to pace.

"My brother's name was Sam. He was a smart kid, very funny. Our parents died when I was 22 and Sam was 13. I didn't want him to go into the system, so I took him in. It was difficult, but we managed. We were best friends, and we relied on each other. But when Sam was 17, he started hanging with the wrong crowd. I tried to warn him, but his friends had become like another family to him. They dragged him into a robbery-an armed robbery-and someone died. He was arrested and went to jail when he was 19. He had been in jail for four years when a gang war broke out and he got caught right in the middle of it. He was killed."

Shawn frowned. "Look man, I'm sorry for your loss. That sucks. But why am I here? I wasn't involved with your brother's case."

"I know, and I must say I'm very sorry about taking you."

"Hey, it's no problem. Everyone makes mistakes; no harm done. I'll just go now." Shawn forced a confident smile, heart sinking when the man started to shake his head.

"I'm afraid you can't leave. You see, you're the only one that will work."

The words were gentle, but matter-of-fact and Shawn couldn't stop staring at him, incredulous. There was something very off about this man. "What are you talking about?" Shawn asked.

"The Santa Barbara police department was responsible for my brother's arrest, and ultimately, his death," the man spat out, eyes narrowing with a brief flash of anger.

Shawn blinked at the abrupt shift in emotions.

"You took away my brother, my only family. You took away the most important person in the world to me. I want you all to pay! I want you to know what it's like to lose something important to you!" The man stalked behind Shawn, grabbing his hair and pulling his head back.

Shawn gasped at the sudden movement and struggled to free his head from the man's tight grasp. Who was he talking to? And then it clicked. The camera. Of course. His eyes caught sight of the knife in the man's hand and froze when it was pressed against his neck, his breathing automatically accelerating. The knife bit into Shawn's skin and he grimaced.

"But it won't be that quick." The knife moved away, the hand released his hair, and the man took a step away from Shawn. "My brother suffered in prison for four years, so this will last for four days. That's fair, don't you think? And at the end of those four days…" The knife was suddenly back at Shawn's throat and the man chuckled. "Well, I'm sure you understand. Oh, and you won't find us. I have a special talent for computers; the signal is untraceable."

"I hate to tell you this, but you chose the wrong person." The words were hard to speak with his neck bent back at such an awkward angle.

"What?" The man let go, circling the chair until he faced Shawn.

"You chose the wrong man. They don't give a flying pig if something happens to me. You'll be lucky if they're still watching your little show." The half-smirk and careless tone of his voice didn't quite reach his eyes; but then his eyes had always been able to give him away, if anyone ever bothered to look closely enough. His father had, every once in a while. Gus and Juliet probably did it the most…had done it the most.

Shawn closed his eyes, giving a quick shake of his head. When he opened them again, his eyes were clear, blank. It was harder than it used to be, holding that mask in place. He had gotten soft, let a little more of his true self show to his friends.

"I'm pretty sure the saying is flying fig," the man corrected, and Shawn shrugged. The man continued, "I thought I might have chosen the wrong person, too, after the scandal broke. And I was angry; all those months of preparing-I had to learn about you, about your father, your friends-and I thought you had ruined my chance to get revenge!" The man shook his head, pacing again. "I considered going after Detective O'Hara when that happened.

Shawn's mask slipped, the anger shining fiercely until he regained control.

"But I really didn't want to hurt a woman. After a few days, I realized you were still the perfect choice! The police wouldn't be so angry if they didn't care about you. They were upset, but they would get over it eventually."

"Yes. After putting me in jail," Shawn said slowly, emphasizing the words, trying to break through the man's delusion.

The man waved his hand airily, ignoring Shawn's logic. "You'll see-Well, actually, you won't. You'll just have to trust me."

"Of course! Trust the weirdo who's planning on killing me…because that makes _perfect_ sense."

The man started rolling up his sleeves. "Enough talking. There's plenty of time to talk later."

Shawn felt his stomach clench in fear. "What's wrong with talking now? Let's clear the air a little more. I-" Shawn saw the punch coming and cringed, unable to do anything to stop it from connecting painfully with his face.

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AN: I'm a little nervous about this story, so I hope you guys like it. Let me know what you thought?


	2. Chapter 2

AN: I am blown away by your response guys! Thank you SO much!

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"_I love you." The words were said with a hint of wonder, but he realized as soon as he said them they were absolutely true._

_She just looked at him, head tilted slightly to the side before giving a small laugh and responding playfully. "I know. And one day, I might just pass pineapple as the love of your life."_

_Her blue eyes were sparkling with humor and Shawn felt an inexplicable need to make her understand. "No. Jules…I love you." Again the words were full of wonder and absolutely sincere._

_She turned to face him completely, studying him in the moonlight, the waves crashing behind them. He realized, in a distant part of his mind, that the beach was an incredibly romantic place to say those three words to her for the first time and it couldn't have worked out better if he had planned it. But he hadn't planned it. The realization of his feelings had hit him suddenly, stunning him with their intensity, and he blurted the words out without thinking about the consequences._

"_You're serious."_

_What if she didn't feel that way? What if she wasn't ready to hear those words and it pushed her away?_

"_Very." He nodded, swallowing hard, waiting for that speculative look on her face to break and either show him happiness or weariness._

_He wasn't expecting her to pull him in for a kiss, nor was he the expecting the kiss to be so passionate. When they pulled away, they were breathless and Shawn couldn't help the dumb grin from crossing his face._

"_Shawn, I love you too."_

_The joy that went through him when she said that was unexplainable._

"You haven't given up already, have you?"

Shawn blinked at the voice, his gaze refocusing on the man in front of him, as the pain from the last few minutes caught up to him. "I'm sorry. Did you want me to show excitement? Maybe give an exuberant 'ow?'"

The next punch snapped his head to the side.

_Blue eyes glared at him, anger and betrayal making them glitter even more dangerously than if she had been confronting a suspect._

"_You lied to me!" She spat out, hands clenching into fists as she stalked towards him._

"_Jules, I-" The slap wasn't exactly unexpected, but that didn't make it sting any less._

"_I can't believe I fell for it! A psychic! How stupid am I to have trusted you, to have believed you?"_

"_Jules, please. I-"_

"_You never told me! After all this time, how could you not tell me the truth?"_

"_I wanted to! I just didn't want to hurt you! And I was trying to protect you!"_

"_Protect me?"_

"_I was going to tell you, I was just trying to find a way. And until I did, at least you wouldn't know. You wouldn't be charged with anything if my secret came out."_

"_How thoughtful." The words were spiteful, and Shawn flinched at the venom in her voice._

The chair toppled backwards with the force of the next punch, and Shawn cried out, as much from the pain from the hit as the pain from Juliet's rejection. Shawn stared at the ceiling, waiting for whatever was going to happen next.

How strange. The emotional pain he had felt for the past week was finally being manifested physically. He blinked when the man entered his line of sight, staring at the sick smile that was on his face.

"Finally. Your friends probably thought I wasn't hitting you very hard. I think that was good proof."

This man was nuts.

"Let's get you upright here." It was like Shawn couldn't say anything; the man's craziness had temporarily frozen Shawn's mouth. He watched as the man pulled the chair up, and took a step back. "There we go. Let's continue."

…

The man leaned against the wall, wiping his bloody hands on a rag, a thoughtful look on his face. "I think that went well, Shawn. I think this first session was a good way to break the ice, to give them a little shock."

Shawn lifted his head, tilting it so he could see the man through the eye that was less swollen. For some reason, he found the man fascinating. Not like a good fascinating; no, it was more like a morbid curiosity. He cleared his throat before speaking. "You never told me your name. Only your brother's."

"Oh." The man blinked in surprise. "My apologies. My name is Cole."

Shawn nodded, letting his head droop.

"I am sorry about this, Shawn. Everything I learned about you, I liked. But I have to do this. You understand, right?"

Shawn looked back up again, eyes flashing with an uncontrollable fire. "You're asking me if I understand why you're planning on killing me? No, I don't understand!"

"But Shawn, if it had been Gus…"

"It wasn't. Gus isn't stupid; he would never commit an armed robbery!"

Cole stiffened at Shawn's words. "My brother wasn't stupid! He just got caught up in the wrong crowd!" He spat out, stalking towards Shawn.

Shawn snorted, wondering why he was pushing the issue. "Could have fooled me."

Cole slowed, a smile slowly forming on his face. "You have no right to judge anyone's actions. If you want to talk about stupidity, we have to talk about you! I mean, you lied to the police, to your girlfriend. And you got caught." He tsked, shaking his head slowly as he watched Shawn for a reaction.

"Huh," Shawn squinted, tilting his head to the side as he looked at Cole. "If you were bald, wore loud, obnoxious shirts, and were a lot older, like sixty, seventy years older, you could be my father. He has never lost a chance to tell me how stupid I am."

"That _was_ a stupid move, Shawn. How did you get caught?"

"_Shawn, you couldn't have known that accusation would pan out! Yes, it worked out in the end, but you should have checked into it more before telling Lassiter."_

_Shawn rolled his eyes before replying. "Please, Gus. I may not be psychic, but I can read guilt. Now hurry up and bring the smoothies!" He hung up the phone, frowning at the creak he heard coming from the other room. He walked into the main room of the office, freezing when his gaze fell on Juliet's shocked face._

"Come on, Shawn. Share it with me."

"_Jules?" She didn't say anything; she just stood there, staring at him. He took a step forward, heart clenching when she took a step back, hands coming up in a gesture warning him to stop. "Jules?"_

_He blinked, taking another step forward to follow her as she suddenly spun around, darting for the back exit._

"I'm waiting…"

One innocent little comment, only meant for Gus to hear, and his life had been ruined.

"No," Shawn said.

"Tough subject to think about? It must be hard to _relive_ those moments which cause you so much pain."

"You would know. How many times did you think about what you could have done differently with your brother?"

"We're not talking about me," He started pacing around the cabin again, and Shawn felt his attention drawn to the camera, still transmitting everything that was happening. "I wasn't planning on doing this until later, but why not start now? How was your secret revealed?"

Shawn's attention snapped back to Cole as he kept his mouth shut. Cole tilted his head, staring at Shawn as he waited for him to answer. When he didn't, Cole sighed, moving to stand beside Shawn again. Shawn screwed his eyes shut as pain exploded in his jaw.

"It's simple, Shawn. Talk, and I don't hurt you. Refuse to answer and we continue where we left off a few minutes ago."

Shawn remained silent, smiling at the irritation so evident in Cole's expression.

A grunt was forced from him in the next second as one punch landed, then another, but still he said nothing.

"Very well. This was not my choice, Shawn, remember that."

Cole walked away, pulling out a black bag from under one of the tables and placing it on the counter. He rummaged around in it before extracting a large hunting knife, larger than the one he had threatened Shawn with earlier. He turned around, smiling at Shawn as he spoke. "You have a distaste for all things pointy, correct? Talk."

The knife was next to his chest before Shawn spoke. "I can talk about a lot of things. There's weather, which is a boring topic, but always a good back-up plan. Food is another subject that I know quite a good deal about."

"How was your secret exposed?"

The knife was starting to dig in and Shawn sucked in a breath.

"I was careless," He shot out, before Cole could press the knife in any deeper.

The knife moved away and Shawn sighed in relief. "Careless how?"

Shawn's head drooped slightly as he continued. "I was on the phone, and I said I wasn't…wasn't psychic. And Jules…Juliet heard me."

"And then what?"

"We argued; she decided to tell the Chief. The end." The words came out clipped despite his best efforts to sound carefree.

"Your own girlfriend turned you in?"

"_Mr. Spencer, I need to see you in my office. Now." _

_Shawn looked into Karen's angry face, his stomach dropping when he saw Juliet's livid expression watching him from the Chief's office. _

"_Lassiter, perhaps you should join us as well."_

_The words that tore his life apart just flowed over him, numbing him, blurring. At that moment, he wouldn't be able to tell anyone what exactly was being said; but later, when it was just him and the empty Psych office, the words returned perfectly, crystal clear, biting in their intensity. He was pulled from his stupor with the threat that Gus and his father could be prosecuted._

"_No! They did nothing wrong. This was my choice, my lie. Blame me, arrest me, whatever you want. I will serve whatever sentence that is right, but leave them out of this. The only thing they are guilty of is helping to solve cases."_

_And really, what was he guilty of? Yes, he had lied to the police. But at the same time, he was putting criminals behind bars. Shouldn't he be able to get some sort of leniency because of that?_

"That must have been awful. Someone you trusted turning their back on you, turning you in."

Shawn flinched at the words as they combined with his memory. He had loved her, still loved her…and she hated him. He had shown her so much of his real self, trusted in her with his insecurities…and she had turned on him. Though he knew his lie must have felt like a betrayal to her, her actions were just as much of a betrayal to him.

"What did your father do?"

_Shawn watched his father rub his forehead, eyes closed as he absorbed the news that Shawn had shared. His expression, when he finally looked up at Shawn, was a mixture of weariness and sharp disappointment. _

"_I told you, Shawn. You were too careless to keep up the charade. It's a wonder you lasted this long."_

"_Dad, I have a meeting with the Chief in a few days. I'm going to do everything I can to make sure you and Gus don't…" He was cut off by the derisive snort that came from his father._

"_Well, that's the absolute least you can do. I didn't want to cover for you, kid."_

_And there was the anger that Shawn was waiting for. He could feel his own ire sparked with his father's words and it took everything Shawn had to not respond in kind. What could he say? He _was_ careless; his father _had _covered for him._

"_Dad…I'm sorry." The words were hard to speak, but they were necessary. He had really messed up. _

"_I don't want to hear it, Shawn! Just get out!" _

_Shawn hesitated until his father pointed at the door, almost yelling the word "Now!"_

_Shawn moved quickly out of the house, striding for his bike and pulling on his helmet. He paused before he left, studying the house. He had a feeling that he would never see it or his father again, and if the meeting with the Chief ended with Shawn going to jail, then it was certain. He would never see this house again, never see his father again. Henry would never visit the prison to see his failure of a son._

"He wasn't happy," Shawn said absently, still absorbed in the memory. Suddenly his mind cleared, and he met Cole's gaze. "So this is your plan? The physical pain isn't enough for you, you want the emotional pain, too? Greedy, aren't you?"

Cole smiled, twirling the knife in his hands as he watched Shawn. "It's a good plan, no? Your friends realize too late how they really care about you, they watch you suffer, absolutely helpless to find you and save you. The guilt alone will go a long way to repaying the debt they owe me."

"I told you, Cole. You picked the wrong guy. They don't care."

"Do you really believe that?"

"_Shawn, I could lose my job! It's bad publicity for the company and I don't think they want the hassle of keeping me! I told you to be careful! And I could go to jail? I don't want to go to jail!"_

"_Gus, buddy. I'm know; I'm going to do everything I can to make sure you don't get peanuted." Shawn waited for Gus to correct him. __'It's penalized, Shawn!' Gus would say. _He was always there to correct him, to keep him straight. He was always there.

_But Gus never corrected him._

"_Shawn…I don't think I can be around you. Not now. I have to save my job…I just can't do this."_

"_Gus?" But Gus never turned back as he strode out of Shawn's apartment._

"Yeah. I do."

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AN: Again, thank you so very much for your great response and awesome support. Next chapter will have reactions to the video, though I'm not sure when I can upload it. I would love to hear your thoughts on this chapter, and if I don't upload before Christmas-have a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!


	3. Chapter 3

AN: A Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you all! Apparently I have no strength of will when it comes to you guys. I wasn't planning on putting up a new chapter until after Christmas, but oh well. Consider this my Christmas present to you all for your fantastic reviews. :)

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Karen paced in front of her desk, glaring at the clock. It was 9:10. She should have known the psychic wouldn't keep his promise. She had really believed he would show up, especially for his father and best friend. Well, this definitely didn't help his chances of avoiding any jail time.

She didn't know how he did it, how he had solved all of those cases. She had never believed in psychics, even when she hired Shawn. In fact, she hadn't really cared whether or not he was a real psychic, so long as he got results. And he did. Despite his antics, he had solved every case she had given him…and some she had not. But when the truth came out, well, that was a completely different game. His secret had been exposed, the police were under scrutiny, and if she wasn't careful, she could lose her job. But what was most important was that each case Shawn had worked on would be reviewed. There was a possibility that criminals could be released from jail because of Shawn's fraudulent investigations.

He wasn't supposed to get caught. He had been careless, and he had pulled O'Hara into his lie on accident, leaving her to decide between love and justice…And she had believed in justice long before she had met Shawn. Karen could only imagine how difficult that decision had been for her.

She had never seen Shawn look so depressed. He was always happy, but after he had left the station the other day, he looked like the weight of the world sat on his shoulders. Perhaps that was why his absence this morning was so surprising to her. She had seen how determined he had been to plead his case, and Henry and Guster's.

She heard a _ding_ from her computer and turned to sit down, checking her watch as she moved. 9:15. Maybe he was just late. It was better than the alternative; that he had run. She frowned at her screen, her cursor hovering over the email that had just come through with the subject line _Shawn Spencer_. Karen hesitated a moment more and clicked on the email, staring at the link that was included in the email. She clicked on it, gasping when the link opened a new window showing a young man tied to a chair. It didn't take her long to recognize the unconscious figure. _Shawn._

Karen pushed away from her desk and strode to the door, bellowing out instructions. "McNab! Call Henry Spencer and Burton Guster and have them come to the station immediately! Detectives, in my office! And somebody get the tech office to trace the video link on my computer! Now!"

Detectives Lassiter and O'Hara walked quickly into her office, confused.

"Is this about Spencer? He ran, didn't he? I knew it!" Lassiter said.

"No, Detective. Unfortunately, he did not run." She paused before continuing, "I just got an email that had a link. It connected me to this webpage." She turned the computer screen around, watching her two detectives.

It didn't take them long to recognize the figure, either. Lassiter let out a soft curse, eyes wide in surprise. It was O'Hara's reaction that bothered Karen. Other than the puzzled expression clearing from her face as she realized who it was, she showed no emotion. No worry, no fear, no anger…nothing. Her face was completely emotionless.

…

Juliet couldn't stop staring at the screen. She had never seen him so still before. He was always moving or dancing or…something. Maybe that's why it didn't feel real. Maybe that's why she couldn't stop staring at the screen; because she didn't think it was him. It wasn't until she caught the Chief staring at her that she realized she hadn't shown any reaction. The Chief was waiting for her to show anger, fear, _something_ and Juliet just…couldn't.

She was…numb. Even her face felt stiff. She just wasn't able to express all of the emotions that she was feeling. She had run the gamut of emotions over Shawn for the last week, and she was tired. She didn't want to feel anything for him anymore, didn't want to have to deal with him anymore. He had lied to her; how could she forgive him? It wasn't a harmless little lie. _No, that dress doesn't make you look big. _It was a huge lie. His whole life was a lie! _ "I'm a psychic." _ She thought she could tell when he was lying, but she had been wrong. And if she couldn't tell he was lying about that…How could she know he hadn't lied to her about how much he cared for her? For all she knew, he had just been playing her for the fool she was. He wasn't a psychic, and she hadn't even suspected he was lying about that.

She wasn't sure she had done the right thing, by turning him in; and seeing him unconscious now just added another heavy weight to her already tired emotions.

Henry and Gus both dashed into the office, both of them standing defensively, arms crossed, as Henry spoke. "What's going on? Where's Shawn? He was supposed to have a meeting today, wasn't he?" He suddenly swore, running his hand down his face, his voice full of tired acceptance as he continued. "He ran, didn't he? Stupid-"

"Henry! Stop!" Karen broke into his rant, not wanting him to say something he'd regret. "Shawn didn't run." She quickly explained the situation, turning the screen around as she finished. Henry and Gus both fell into the chairs, shocked.

Juliet couldn't help the small, startled jump when a voice coming from the video surprised her. She was still numb, still drowning in the weight of her emotions when she watched the man wake Shawn up and when she saw Shawn look around the room…

Shawn's voice came through the speakers, and she shut her eyes. The sound of his voice increased her turmoil and she clenched her jaw, fighting against the emotions that were starting to make her unravel.

She had always loved his voice; the barely restrained joy that often bubbled under the surface, the way it grew husky every time he told her he loved her…He could talk about anything, and she would just listen. She had loved the way he babbled, even when he was confronting a criminal holding a gun to his head. Nothing seemed to faze him.

She had heard him once when he was in agony-when he had been shot-and he had still managed to hide most of his pain from her. She had heard him lose control-really lose control-twice. Once, when he had realized Yang had been watching him from the Psych office; another when he had answered the phone believing Yin was on the other end, but it was instead Juliet, reading the psycho's twisted clue. He hadn't been able to hide his fear and anger and frustration either of those times.

That was something she had noticed about him, an endearing characteristic. If it was him in danger or trouble, he was in control. If it was someone else in danger, especially someone he cared for, he had more difficulty hiding his emotions.

Right now, his voice was calm. Sometimes incredulous and disbelieving, with a twinge of nervousness, but mostly calm, in control.

It wasn't his voice you had to listen to, Juliet had learned; you had to watch his eyes.

That was where she saw his fear as they looked around that small room. That was where she saw the shock as the man suddenly turned angry. And that was where she saw his absolute belief that no one would care he was in trouble.

She saw him shake his head and close his eyes.

When he reopened his eyes, Juliet couldn't breathe, because there was a blankness to his expression that she had never seen. It was like Shawn had locked himself away from them, his true emotions hidden behind a mask she couldn't find a crack in. She heard Henry swear softly and saw Gus shift uncomfortably in the chair. She was not the only one to notice the difference, then. She was surprised when the mask slipped for a split second, a fierce emotion crossing his face as the man confessed that he had considered Juliet for his revenge; but it was such a quick slip that if she had blinked, she would have missed it.

She was stuck on that flash of emotion. Was it possible that he hadn't lied to her when he told her he loved her?

It wasn't until the first punch landed on his face that she truly understood what was happening. He was being beaten; he was being tortured because of his connection to the police station. A connection he would never have had if he had never lied about being a psychic.

She couldn't look away. She felt her stomach twist as she heard his pain, her eyes glued to the screen as she tried to watch his eyes. The mask was still there, but there was a…disconnect. He was staring off into the distance, his eyes almost sparkling.

"You haven't given up already, have you?"

Shawn blinked; his gaze refocused and the sparkle disappeared.

"I'm sorry. Did you want me to show excitement? Maybe give an exuberant 'ow?'"

There was a new pain in his expression as the man continued and Juliet covered her mouth when the chair toppled over, Shawn's short yell stealing her breath again.

The Chief was yelling at one of the men from the tech office, unwilling to take their word that tracing the signal would be impossible.

"That man will be killed if you can't trace the signal! You had better find a way to trace it, or so help me, I will make sure you never touch a computer again in your life!"

The man on the screen was slowing his attack, the punches coming slower and slower until he stopped and stepped away from Shawn, who was still conscious. _Dear Lord, he was still awake…_

"I think that went well, Shawn. I think this first session was a good way to break the ice, to give them a little shock."

She had never wanted to shoot someone more in her life. She was surprised by how sharp and sudden that urge was. It broke through the icy façade that she knew had settled over her features, leaving her eyes glittering in anger.

"You never told me your name. Only your brother's."

She watched them talk, watched as Shawn's mask slipped for a second time as he responded angrily to another comment from Cole. Somehow she knew instinctively that this conversation was not going to lead anywhere good. And when Cole began asking questions, her instincts were confirmed.

She watched him flinch as Cole said, "That must have been awful. Someone you trusted turning their back on you, turning you in."

Juliet was angry at the guilt that surfaced as she heard that comment and saw Shawn's reaction. Shawn had lied to _her_, Shawn had betrayed _her_! She had nothing to feel guilty about!

"_I will never hurt you. Never. Not if I can help it. And I won't let anyone else hurt you, either."_

_She looked up from the case file in confusion. Shawn was serious, a strange sadness pulling down the corners of his mouth._

"_Shawn, what's wrong?"_

_He sighed, his hands running through his hair as he sat beside her. "This case," he answered softly. "He was her husband; he should have loved her, treasured her. Instead, he…hurt her. I just don't understand. How could he do that?"_

_Juliet looked back down at the pictures in the files, shaking her head sadly. "I don't know, Shawn. I don't understand it either."_

_He put his hand on her neck, turning her face to his and threading his fingers through her hair. "I will never hurt you. You are the most precious thing in my life, and I promise that I will do everything I can to protect you." He tilted his head forward, letting his forehead rest against hers. Juliet couldn't stop the soft smile that crossed her face when she saw how intensely he looked at her. "I love you."_

_She put her hands on both sides of his face before leaning in for a sweet kiss. "I know. I love you, too," she replied after they broke apart._

He had broken his promise.

She watched as his eyes dimmed more and more with each memory that Cole stirred up, and Juliet found she couldn't swallow past the lump in her throat while she listened to their final comments.

"I told you, Cole. You picked the wrong guy. They don't care."

"Do you really believe that?"

There was silence, that distant look crossing his face once more before he responded.

"Yeah. I do."

Shawn's head dropped and Cole walked off of the screen. There was silence in the station as they waited for whatever was going to happen next. Cole stepped back into the picture, and there was a slight gasp from each of the people in the office as they caught sight of the syringe in his hand. Shawn looked back up, his eyes widening as he caught sight of the needle. Cole grabbed Shawn's hair and tilted his head roughly to the side. Shawn struggled, but couldn't stop the needle from piercing his skin or prevent whatever was in the needle from entering his body. His blinks got slower, his breathing grew deeper, and Cole turned to smile at the camera.

"Don't worry. I'll wake him in a few hours. I want to make the most of our time together." He smirked and walked away, leaving Shawn alone on the screen, unconscious.

Juliet spun away from the screen, unable to watch his motionless figure, and realized for the first time that all of the other officers were crowding as close as they could to watch. Henry swore, standing from his chair and pacing the office in frustration. Gus, who couldn't watch while Cole hurt Shawn, didn't seem able to look away from the screen now.

"He can't really believe that, can he? That no one cares?" He asked, his voice hollow, and Juliet turned to look back at him.

"Why wouldn't he?" She asked shortly, before she strode out of the office. But no matter how quickly she walked away, she wasn't able to escape the haunting image that was still on the screen.

* * *

AN: You know, reviews make great Christmas presents, too... :D


	4. Chapter 4

AN: I am absolutely stunned by your amazing responses! Thank you very much! I don't own Psych (I forgot to say that earlier), and you will be seeing some quotes that actually come from the show in this chapter. You'll know them when you see them-They're not mine!

* * *

Lassiter stalked back into the station, barely managing to hold back the frustration that was ready to spill from his mouth in the form of a colorful string of curses. As soon as that madman had stopped tormenting Shawn, Lassiter had stormed from the office, prepared to look up every bit of information he could on Cole and his brother. He hadn't needed to do any work. McNab had recruited two officers to help him find information on Cole and his family as soon as he had heard Cole's explanation; which meant that within minutes of stepping out of the Chief's office, Lassiter was ready to head to the only address they had that was connected to Cole. His only hold up was O'Hara. He sent McNab and the two officers who had helped him to their squad cars, instructing them to wait for his return before they could leave, and began looking around the station for her.

He found her in an interrogation room, leaning heavily against the table, her head hanging low.

"O'Hara, we have a possible lead. Are you ready to go?" He wasn't so callous that he didn't know how difficult this situation was for her. But if she didn't get her head in the game, she would be of no help in locating Spencer.

"He shouldn't be there," She said hoarsely. "If he hadn't lied about being a psychic, he wouldn't be in this situation. And maybe…maybe if this hadn't come out, his secret, maybe he would have been with one of us and not been kidnapped. If I hadn't told the Chief, maybe this wouldn't have happened."

Lassiter gave a silent sigh, biting back his impatience at the delay. It was his job to watch his partner's back, and that meant making sure she was able to focus on the job, making sure she was ready to help when Lassiter needed her. And while he did not necessarily need her now, he did want to include her in this search. He knew she needed to be included. "You heard Cole; Shawn was the target long before his secret came out. It's not your fault."

She dropped her head even lower, closing her eyes and forcing out a hard sigh. She opened her mouth to say something and then quickly closed it, shaking her head.

"Listen to me, O'Hara. You're not going to be any help finding him if you don't get your head in the game." He hesitated uncomfortably before adding, "I know you're angry and…feel guilty, but you need to put those emotions aside so you can focus on finding him. And when we _do_ find him, feel free to be as angry as you want to be at him; yell, scream, I don't care, _but help me find him first_."

She met his gaze for the first time since he entered the room, studying him. Finally, she straightened from the table and gave him a nod before leading the way out of the room.

They hadn't found anything at the house. The house was empty, and looked like it had been deserted for quite some time. He and O'Hara had spent several hours looking for a clue, a new lead they could investigate, but there was nothing. He had left McNab behind to continue searching with the other two officers, but he wasn't holding out any hope. Cole had not left any loose ends, and that just made Lassiter even angrier.

He looked at his partner out of the corner of his eyes, worried at how pale she looked. This was not a good setback for her. They sat at their desks and Lassiter leaned back in his chair, rubbing his hand over his mouth, thinking. There had to be a way to find this guy. He wasn't willing to give up on Spencer; he had to figure out a way to find him. He pushed away from his desk to head to the tech department. The video feed was the only lead they had. There had to be a way to break the encryption that was blocking their location.

…

"_Daddy, look at those stars!"_

_Henry looked down at Shawn, not even trying to hide the smile that crossed his face when he saw the awe on his three-year-old son's face. "I see 'em, kid. You know, some of them form shapes."_

"_Like a reckangle?"_

_Henry stifled a laugh. "Yeah kid, some of them do form rectangles. But think bigger. Look." He scooped Shawn up in one arm and pointed out a group of stars with his other hand, tracing the shape with his finger. "See? That one looks like a person. It's called Orion."_

"_Oh, that's Rion."_

_This time, Henry did laugh at the matter-of-fact way Shawn tried to repeat Henry's words. He pointed out more constellations, watching as Shawn's blinks got slower and longer until he finally fell asleep. Henry would never admit how his heart softened when he saw how tightly his son clenched his shirt in his small fist. "Sleep, son. I've got you."_

Henry rubbed his hands across his face in frustration, unable to stop his eyes from being drawn back to the unconscious figure of his son. His son, the newborn baby he had held in his hands, the young boy he had raised and taught, the troublemaking child that had sometimes given him a heart-attack or made him secretly laugh at with his antics, the teenager he had argued with and pushed away, the young man who had returned and wormed his way into Henry's life once more, was kidnapped and in pain. He was going to die if they couldn't find him.

"_Dad…I'm sorry."_

_A small part of Henry knew how hard it had to be for his son to apologize. That small part, however, was lost under the swell of anger and bitter disappointment that was growing towards his son. He couldn't stand to be in the same room with him right now. "I don't want to hear it, Shawn! Just get out!" Why was Shawn hesitating? "Now!"_

_Henry watched as Shawn spun away from him without another word, leaving the house and quickly walking to his bike. He leaned against the table, watching to make sure he left. Life as Henry knew it had just been destroyed by his very own son. He continued to glare out the window, a small sliver of unease shooting through him when he saw Shawn did not leave immediately. He just sat on his bike and looked at the house._

_Henry straightened from the table when Shawn finally started his bike and pulled away._

"_So help me Shawn, if you don't show up at that meeting…" He mumbled as he turned away from the window._

He hadn't even taken the time to realize how upset Shawn was when he had told Henry his secret was out. He hadn't seen how badly his son was hurting. His eyes fell on the screen, fell on the still figure of _his son_…He was seeing his pain now.

Henry pushed himself from the chair, swearing as he tried to push away the weight that was sitting on his chest, ignoring the startled looks from Karen and Guster as the chair toppled over. Henry couldn't look away from that chair; all he could see was the chair his son was tied to toppling over as he was beaten.

"_I wonder what our lives would have been like if you had stayed wherever the hell you were…and never come back to Santa Barbara," Henry told Shawn._

He leaned heavily against the wall as his legs gave out. He was going to find that out if they couldn't find Shawn. He didn't want to find out. _Not Shawn. Please…not him. _It didn't matter that he had been angry at his son; if he could trade places with him, he would. He wouldn't even need to think twice about it.

"Are you ready to begin again?"

Henry spun around to see Cole standing beside his son, an object in his hands that made Henry's stomach clench in fear.

Karen darted to the door of her office, yelling for Detectives O'Hara and Lassiter and ordering the rest of the officers to keep looking for leads, but Henry couldn't look away from the screen, couldn't look away from the object Cole let drag across his son's chest and back.

"I'm ready, if you all are. Shall we start?"

…

_His eyes fell on the newspaper, shocked when he saw it was a picture of him. His father was keeping the article on his first case? Shawn was surprised at how happy that made him. His father was…proud of him. Henry wasn't going to say anything; that wasn't the way he did things, but Shawn knew his father well enough to know what that small action meant. It had been…years since he had felt like his father was proud of him, and…he liked it. Of course, he wasn't going to let on to his father that he had seen the newspaper. Not yet, at least._

"Time to wake up, Shawn."

_No. No, no, no. Please no. It was a bad dream, that's all._

"Shawn, stop wasting time."

But it wasn't a dream; this was his new reality. He stifled a groan, the pain from the beating he had received earlier making itself known once more.

"Shawn…"

He heard a strange crackling noise that he couldn't place, but he kept his eyes tightly shut, refusing to listen to the psycho. That was why he was completely unprepared for the electricity that ran through his body, stealing his breath and making him jerk in pain. He didn't even know he was yelling until the current stopped. His eyes snapped open, one eye only opening halfway, and he glared at Cole as he gasped for breath. His gaze fell, landing on the cattle prod gripped in Cole's right hand and he clenched his jaw, his mask automatically falling into place with his return to consciousness.

"We have to work together, Shawn. If you don't listen to me, we won't be able to accomplish our goal!"

"_Our_ goal? Wow…you didn't just get on the crazy train; you rode it all the way to Crazyville, didn't you?"

"I thought you would want to help me. They're realizing how much you mean to them! They won't be angry anymore!"

Shawn just gave a short laugh, shaking his head in feigned amusement. When Cole didn't say anything else, Shawn lifted an eyebrow in question. "Did you wake me up for any specific reason, or did you just miss my sparkling personality?"

Cole smiled, "It's time to continue."

Shawn refused to look at the cattle prod as Cole turned it on and off again as he paced next to Shawn's chair.

"Why don't you tell me about Juliet, Shawn?"

Shawn blinked, surprised by the direction this session was taking. "What are you doing, Cole?" He asked quietly.

"Tell me about her."

There were so many things he could talk about when it came to Juliet. How beautiful and smart she was, that adorable crease she got on her forehead every time she was concentrating on a case, the way her eyes sparkled at him when she laughed at something he said. Even when she was angry, she took his breath away.

Shawn shook his head, "No. I won't. If you'd like to talk about something else, though, how about what we're eating for dinner? I'm starving." He caught his breath as Cole stepped closer, the stick crackling with electricity.

"Just tell me about her, Shawn."

"Nope. Sorry."

The sound of his yelling filled the air as Cole pressed the stick into his side.

"Talk."

Shawn focused on the floor, waiting to answer until his voice was strong again. Finally, he looked back up, meeting Cole's eyes. "I won't."

Cole sighed as he took a step away from Shawn's chair. "Very well. Maybe that is too difficult of a topic to talk about right now…Let's see…" He said as he tapped his finger against his mouth. When Cole looked away, Shawn looked down, studying the rope that bound him to the chair, twisting his hands in a futile effort to loosen the knots. His head shot up as Cole exclaimed, "I know! Tell me about Detective Lassiter."

"He's a detective, works for the Santa Barbara Police Department. If you'd like to meet him, I'm sure you could set up a meeting at the station." He grinned, ignoring the way that movement pulled at his bruises.

"How did you meet?"

"_I'm Shawn Spencer…I'm here for a commendation…"_

"_Your information was good. So good, it could only have come from the inside."_

_This was going downhill, Shawn knew it was, but could do nothing to fix it. And then he uttered the sentence that changed the course of his life. "I got the information because…I'm psychic."_

"You have to talk sometime, Shawn. If you don't, we just start in with more pain."

"Of course we do," Shawn muttered before speaking up. "We met when I called in a tip about a crime."

"And that's when a psychic-I'm sorry, a _fake_ psychic- was born."

"Right-in-one," Shawn said through a tight grin.

"I'm curious. Why tell them you were psychic?"

"They didn't believe me when I told them how I figured out the guy was guilty, so it was tell them I was psychic or spend a night in jail. And really, who would believe me when I told them my f-" Shawn clamped his mouth closed. The less he revealed about his father's involvement with anything, the better. If it hadn't come out already that his father had been directly involved in honing his detective skills, then there was no need to divulge that information himself.

"Told them what?" Cole asked

"Told them my fantastic detective skills came from watching _Police Academy._ I mean, even I don't believe that."

There was silence as Cole studied him and Shawn yawned, doing his best to look like he didn't have a care in the world.

"So Lassiter actually believed you were a psychic?"

"Of course not. He never believed I was psychic."

"You know, without you, the SBPD would never close as many cases as they have. What was Lassiter's nickname? Detective Dipstick? It does fit; he seems completely incompetent."

Shawn's eyes flashed in anger. "When I was working for the SBPD, he and Ju-Detective O'Hara were the only ones I trusted to watch my back. He is more than competent." He wasn't sure why hearing Cole insult Lassiter made him so angry, nor did he know why he just passionately defended the man who would prefer to never see him again, but…hearing that psycho insult Lassiter...It wasn't right.

_Shawn leaned heavily against the car, the pain from the gunshot wound in his shoulder reaching another peak. _

"_Nice shooting, Detective."_

_Shawn couldn't help but feel surprised at the comment from Lassiter, which was most definitely a compliment._

"My mistake," Cole held up a hand in surrender, a small smile playing around the corner of his lips. He walked behind Shawn's chair, and Shawn tensed, waiting for the next shock. Cole pushed the stick into Shawn's neck, and Shawn flinched…but the shock never came. Cole just chuckled at his reaction, and pulled it away.

"Why don't you tell me about the Chief, Shawn?"

"She's a snappy dresser and a great task-master," He shot off quickly.

"Do you think she believed you were a psychic?"

That was the funny thing…funny ironic, not funny ha-ha. Shawn could have sworn Karen didn't believe he was psychic, but she had been so angry when his secret had been revealed. He just didn't understand why…

"I don't know," Shawn answered, eyes furrowed as his mind puzzled over that question.

"_The Feds are itching to jump into this case and I need to make some progress. What I need is a miracle…or a facsimile of one," the Chief said._

_This was an unexpected twist. "Oh, well…I see. I see. Well, I make twelve hundred dollars a day." _

"_It's a try-out." _

_Huh. If he did decide to help, she wouldn't let him get away with anything, would she? "That's what I meant to say. This is pro bono, something for you."_

"_And if this psychic thing is a scam? We will prosecute. You know hindering a police investigation is a criminal offense?"_

_He watched her walk away, stunned at the opportunity that had just landed in his lap. Investigating cases without having to be a police officer? Intriguing…_

Had she really believed he was psychic?

"_Do you have any idea what the fallout of your little lie is going to be, Mr. Spencer? The police department is being investigated, lawyers are swarming…" Karen broke off, rubbing her head in frustration and sighing. _

"_Lawyers are swarming…" _She had said. Shawn closed his eyes, realizing for the first time exactly what she meant. He had been so busy with his own personal crisis that he hadn't even had a chance to dwell on the rest of the implications. _"Lawyers are swarming…" _ How many cases would be overturned because of his involvement in the investigations?

"_I wonder what our lives would have been like if you had stayed wherever the hell you were…and never came back to Santa Barbara."_

Shawn pressed his lips together, eyes closing as he fought off the memories that were surfacing. He needed to stop this train of thought; he needed to focus on something else, anything else. He couldn't break down; not here, not now.

"What was that meeting with the Chief like, Shawn? Was she upset that you had lied?"

Shawn looked around the room again, avoiding the question. "Where did you find this cabin, Cole? It's…quaint. A little old and rundown, but…"

The current was running through him again, his body jerking in response, and he was unable to stop the pained moans and short yells that escaped from his mouth.

_Shawn typed the message in the phone, hoping, praying that they would know what he meant, that they could find him. He shut his eyes for a moment, fighting to focus through the pain in his shoulder. He had given them the only clues he could; now he needed to get out of the trunk._

Why was he even trying to give them clues now? They weren't watching. But he couldn't help but hope that someone cared, that someone was worried about him and hated seeing him in this situation. If not his father or Gus or Juliet or Lassiter…_someone_ cared…didn't they?

_Lassiter fingered the cuffs hanging from his belt. "She should have let me arrest you, Spencer. You're a fraud, you lied to the police. You should be in jail. But after the meeting on Wednesday, I'll get my wish."_

_Shawn didn't reply; he just met Lassiter's eyes wearily. "I…" He wanted to deny Lassiter's claims, but it was difficult. His eyes swept the station, shoulders drooping slightly as he saw the officers either ignoring him or glaring at him. Even Buzz was upset at Shawn; he watched Shawn, a look of disappointment on his face before he looked back down at his desk. "I guess we'll find out on Wednesday, won't we?"_

The pain finally disappeared, and Shawn rested his head against his chest.

"Don't ruin my plan, Shawn. Don't even try to. I don't need you to answer my questions to make them feel guilty; seeing you in pain is more than adequate for that. And I really don't think you want to deal with a broken jaw on top of everything else I have planned for you. It will just make it even more painful when you scream for me."

Shawn clenched his hands into fists, fighting the tremors that stemmed from Cole's flat, icy voice.

"Now answer my question. What was that meeting with the Chief like?"

Shawn dropped his gaze to the ground, counting the floorboards while he tried to ignore Cole.

Cole sighed, breaking into Shawn's thoughts. "You are not being as helpful as I had hoped, Shawn. I guess the questions will have to wait for later."

After that, the only sounds to fill the air were the crackle of electricity and yelling.

* * *

AN: I would love to hear your thoughts! And since I won't post again before Friday, I hope you have a safe and happy New Year's Eve!


	5. Chapter 5

"_Shawn! Why did you fight him? He was bigger than you!" Gus couldn't stop looking at Shawn's black eye in horror._

_Shawn scuffed his foot against the ground, not looking at Gus. "His hair was awful, Gus. He shouldn't have shown it in public, it was so offensive. I was seriously offended." _

_Gus watched as Shawn gave a fake shudder, and narrowed his eyes in suspicion. "Shawn, you did not get in a fight with Jimmy just because his hair 'offended' you! What really happened?"_

_Shawn sighed, looking at Gus out of the corner of his eye before quickly looking away again. "I don't know what you're talking about, buddy."_

"_Shawn…" Gus warned._

"_Gus, just drop it. Please."_

_Gus' eyebrows shot up in surprise. That wasn't like Shawn, to ask him so seriously. He could see Shawn's shoulders tense as Gus opened his mouth again and he hesitated. He looked at Shawn, noting the way his hands clenched into fists, the way his eyes simmered with unspoken anger. Now Gus was confused. Shawn was never angry; he had this incredible ability to let negative things just roll off his back, which meant whatever had happened, hadn't been about Shawn._

_He sighed as comprehension dawned. "What did he say about me, Shawn?"_

_Shawn's gaze snapped to Gus, his eyes widening in surprise. It took him a second to come back with a reply. "It doesn't matter. He won't say it again."_

"_You shouldn't have fought him."_

"_Buddy, I couldn't let him…" He trailed off, still looking away from Gus._

"_I know." Gus paused before saying, "Thanks for being my best friend."_

"_No, Gus. We're brothers." Shawn nodded to give emphasis to his statement. He held his fist out to Gus._

"_You've got that right," Gus said, completing the fist bump._

This wasn't happening. His best friend was not in the clutches of a maniac; not again. It wasn't fair. First there was the ice cream truck fiasco, then Yin and Yang…At least the last time Yin had toyed with Shawn, Gus had been right by his side.

His eyes were glued to the screen, a far different reaction to the last time Cole had "talked" to Shawn. The first time he couldn't look at the screen, couldn't bear to watch as his friend was beaten to a bloody pulp. Gus had never felt so ashamed. Shawn was his best friend and Gus felt like he had turned his back on him when he didn't watch.

He really wished he was by Shawn's side again.

The office door clicked shut and Gus flinched at the unexpected noise, not looking away from the screen but still realizing Lassiter had joined the group late. He couldn't help but smirk as Shawn gave a sarcastic response to one of Cole's comments, glad that he had found a way to fight back.

He knew why he wouldn't talk about Juliet, but that didn't mean he agreed. If Cole wouldn't hurt Shawn when he was answering his questions, then Gus wanted Shawn to talk. He blew out a sigh of relief when Cole moved on to a new topic and Shawn finally answered. It didn't matter that he was giving as little information as he could, at least he was talking and Cole wasn't hurting him. Physically, at least.

"I'm curious. Why tell them you were psychic?"

"They didn't believe me when I told them how I figured out the guy was guilty, so it was tell them I was psychic or spend a night in jail. And really, who would believe me when I told them my f-"

Shawn's mouth snapped closed and Gus resisted the urge to look over at Henry, who shifted in his chair. He saw Juliet out of the corner of his eye as she leaned towards the screen, face creased with confusion. Of course. She hadn't been here for that first case, would not have heard how Shawn had been almost arrested.

"You know, without you, the SBPD would never close as many cases as they have. What was Lassiter's nickname? Detective Dipstick? It does fit; he seems completely incompetent."

Shawn's reply was quick and absolutely sincere. "When I was working for the SBPD, he and Ju-Detective O'Hara were the only ones I trusted to watch my back. He is more than competent."

His response was just one more example of how Shawn always tried to protect his friends…to protect the people who were _supposed_ to be his friends. Because Gus knew none of them had acted like friends to Shawn before he disappeared. Gus hadn't been trying to be mean, but he just knew he could not see Shawn until he had been able to calm down. It had been a rough few days for Gus; his boss at the pharmaceutical job was threatening to fire him, there was no way Psych was going to be open after Shawn was outed as a fraud, and there was the very real possibility the police would take some sort of action against him.

He really didn't want to go to jail. Not seeing Shawn for a few days had been the only way Gus had seen to be able to save their friendship, and as such he hadn't called him or answered any of Shawn's phone calls.

He was really regretting that choice, because the last image he had left Shawn with had been one of disappointment and anger. Gus had been concerned about himself, and not for the man who was supposed to be his best friend. He hadn't noticed, hadn't cared that his best friend was suffering…No, that wasn't true. He had noticed. Shawn hadn't been able to hide how much of a toll that situation had been taking on him. Gus had seen the exhausted lines to his face, the forced smile and humor, and he had ignored it, focused on his own trouble.

Did that make him a horrible person? To be so worried about his own situation and not wanting to deal with anything else? How could he know that Shawn would be taken from them; that Gus might never be able to talk to Shawn again? He couldn't know that, couldn't know that he would regret not speaking to Shawn. And he did regret it, very much.

"Why don't you tell me about the Chief, Shawn?"

"She's a snappy dresser and a great task-master," He replied.

"Do you think she believed you were a psychic?"

"I don't know," Shawn answered, eyebrows furrowed as his mind puzzled over that question.

Gus could tell the exact second Shawn had a revelation. He didn't know what it was that Shawn had realized, but he could tell how much it bothered him when Shawn kept his eyes closed and pressed his lips together.

"What was that meeting with the Chief like, Shawn? Was she upset that you had lied?"

Shawn finally opened his eyes and looked around the room, avoiding the question. "Where did you find this cabin, Cole? It's…quaint. A little old and rundown, but…"

Gus couldn't breathe when Cole dug the stick into Shawn's side, Shawn's agony making him sick. Gus closed his eyes, face creasing as he tried to block the tears that welled up in response to watching his friend writhe in pain. He wanted to block Shawn's yells, but he couldn't; he knew that action would be just as cowardly as not watching.

"Don't ruin my plan, Shawn. Don't even try to. I don't need you to answer my questions to make them feel guilty; seeing you in pain is more than adequate for that. And I really don't think you want to deal with a broken jaw on top of everything else I have planned for you. It will just make it even more painful when you scream for me."

Gus felt his hands starting to shake when he heard Cole. He had no doubt Cole would follow through on his threat and that scared him. Not just for the pain he knew that would cause, but because talking was the only way Shawn could defend himself and it was the only way for them to get any sort of clue of where he was.

"Now answer my question. What was that meeting with the chief like?"

There was silence. _Answer him. Come on, Shawn, answer him! Shawn!_

Cole sighed. "You are not being as helpful as I had hoped, Shawn. I guess the questions will have to wait for later."

It took Shawn a long time to become exhausted by the pain and give in to unconsciousness. When his yells ceased to fill the room, it left every person in the chief's office pale and shaking. Cole turned to the camera, another smile crossing his face.

"You can go home for the night. I know he won't wake up for a while, but when he does, I have another sedative to give him. It'll be one of his last; he shouldn't need it after tomorrow."

Gus hurried from the room, staggering to the bathroom, tears running down his face. He knelt beside the toilet, gasping for breath, feeling like the walls were starting to close in on him.

"_Are you okay?"_

_Shawn looked up from the hospital bed, a tired smile crossing his face as Gus entered the room._

"_Hey, buddy. Yeah, I'm fine."_

_Gus looked away from Shawn's left shoulder, not able to stomach the sight of his blood staining the white bandages that covered the gunshot wound. Shawn smirked at Gus' expression before holding up his hand and waiting for the fist bump._

"_Thanks, buddy," Shawn said seriously._

_Gus met Shawn's gaze in confusion. "For what?"_

"_The whole time…I knew you were looking for me. I knew you and dad wouldn't let me down."_

Gus leaned over the toilet and gagged, one thought running through his mind. _He doesn't think we are looking for him. He doesn't think we are looking for him…_

…

"Detectives, please tell me we have something to go on," Karen said after Gus ran out of the room. She stood behind her desk, eyeing both Lassiter and O'Hara, hoping that one of them would provide a break in the case and they could end this nightmare immediately. However, by the look of hopelessness on her young detective's face, she wasn't expecting any good news.

"I talked to the techs before I came in here," Lassiter said, and Karen raised her eyebrows at the determination she heard in his voice.

"And?"

"They've called in a computer genius from the FBI office. They said he's one of the best; if he can't break the encryption, no one can."

"When does he come?" Karen asked, seeing O'Hara pulling her eyes away from the screen for the first time since the conversation started and looking at Lassiter.

He met O'Hara's gaze before returning it to Karen. "Tonight. He should be here at any time."

She nodded. "Good. Detectives, Henry, go home. Get some rest." She held up here hand to stop the immediate uproar that comment caused. "You heard Cole. As much as I hate to take him at his word for anything, I really don't think he'll do anything else tonight."

"What…" O'Hara's voice was clogged and she cleared her throat before continuing quietly. "What if he wakes up? What if he says something to lead us to him or manages to escape?"

"I am going to stay and watch," Karen said before Henry broke in.

"No. I'm staying. I will watch over my son."

"Henry, I-"

"No Karen. I'm staying." He met her gaze with a fiery one of his own and she was glad to see the steel back in his eyes. That little bit of hope offered by an as-yet faceless computer genius was giving each of them a brighter outlook.

"Fine, but you two," She pointed to her detectives, "Are going home. I'll wait for this FBI tech and fill him in." She looked right at O'Hara as she continued. "Go home. Get some rest, and come back tomorrow. I will call you if there's any change."

The way O'Hara pressed her lips together told Karen how little she liked the idea, but Karen wasn't changing her mind. Both detectives needed a break, O'Hara most of all. The young woman needed some time to herself to work through the many emotions she had been overwhelmed with not just from today, but from this whole week.

Gus entered the office, looking curiously at the two detectives as they left. "What's going on?" He asked, turning to look between Karen and Henry.

"They're going home. You too, Mr. Guster."

His eyes flashed as he responded. "I don't think so."

"Yes, Gus. Go home. I'll be staying the night," Henry said, pushing away from the wall that had been supporting him. He put his hand on Gus' shoulder and nodded. "I'll watch over him," He promised.

She watched Gus' shoulders slump and she tried to swallow the lump in her throat. Shawn had so many people that were willing to look for him, that cared very deeply for his well-being. It was so hard to watch him be hurt, hard to feel so helpless and unable to save him.

She hated to give the man who held Shawn captive any credit, but in one case, he was right. When Shawn's secret came out, they all lost perspective. All they could see was his lie; no one saw _him _anymore. They had turned their back on him, and seeing him like this…Like Cole had said, they all cared for Shawn; they were so angry at him because he was one of them. The more they listened to Shawn answering questions and the more time each of them had to reflect on their relationships with Shawn, the less his lie mattered to them. They started remembering how often he was able to help on impossible cases, how often he provided an outlet for frustration, and how often he put himself in the line of fire for another officer, another friend. The more time Shawn spent trapped in the clutches of this madman, the more each of them remembered how much Shawn truly meant to them.

* * *

AN: Thank you all so much for your comments. Not only do they make me smile, but each and every one of them inspires me. Thank you!


	6. Chapter 6

Juliet closed the door behind her as she entered her house. She kicked her shoes off and leaned heavily against the door, closing her eyes.

_She was pacing through the house, her high heels clicking against the floor, her dress fluttering against her legs. She checked her watch, stomach twisting slightly in nerves. 6:59. He was supposed to pick her up tonight for their first date. Maybe first date wasn't the right term. They had gone out several times since returning from Canada, but Shawn had wanted to take her out for something fancier, and he was supposed to be here at 7:00. She wasn't sure why she was nervous about this date, but she was. _

_She checked her watch. 7:00. She smiled, pleased when she heard a knock at her door. Right on time. She opened the door and the nerves intensified before completely melting away, her smile growing at the image that greeted her. He held out a single red rose for her to take, which she did as she looked deeply into his eyes. Vaguely, she noticed the perfect fit of his suit and the way his green shirt brought out the color in his eyes. But what made her nerves disappear…It was the way his eyes widened when he caught sight of her; it was the half-smile that showed his pleasure at what he saw…and he was looking at her and meeting her gaze, not looking at what she was wearing. But when he did look at the rest of her, the smile grew and he couldn't completely hide the huskiness in his voice when he greeted her._

"_Hello, beautiful." _

She pushed away from the door, walking further into the house and entering the kitchen.

_She stirred the pot on the stove, leaning forward a little to smell the sauce. She jumped when arms wrapped around her middle and Shawn put his head on her shoulder._

"_Shawn, you're supposed to be helping," She chided._

"_Oh…how's this?"_

_He started trailing kisses along her neck. She shuddered at the light touches, and felt him smile at her reaction. "Shawn, that's not helping."_

"_It's not? My mistake…" He swept her hair around to her shoulder, pressing another kiss to the nape of her neck._

She swung around, leaving the kitchen immediately, unwilling to face any more of those memories. She hurried to the living room, sinking down on the couch in exhaustion.

"_Seriously, Shawn? You chose a slasher movie?"_

"_What? It's a classic! And it'll make you feel better."_

_She lifted her eyebrows in skepticism. "Oh yeah? How's that?"_

"_Well, you only have to worry about a cold. These people have to worry about losing limbs. Like arms, not tree branches, because that would just be weird…"_

"_Shawn…" She warned, shifting on the couch and readjusting the phone on her ear. She grabbed the remote and turned it to the channel Shawn had told her to. "Shawn, I think you gave me the wrong channel." She frowned in confusion as she saw the title screen for Casablanca._

"_No, you got it right."_

_She jumped, turning to look at Shawn as he hung up his cell-phone. "What are you doing? You're supposed to watch the movie from home so you don't get sick!"_

_He snorted, "Like I'm just going to let you be by yourself when you're sick. And look, I brought soup." He held up a brown bag as he moved over to the couch. He put the bag down on the coffee table and sat down on the couch before pulling her towards him so she was curled into his side. "There, I feel better already."_

_She gave a short laugh, "You're not the one who's sick."_

"_True. Do you feel better?"_

"_Yes." She snuggled even deeper into his side, a content smile on her face._

The first few tears slipped down her face as she closed her eyes. It didn't matter where she went, everything would remind her of Shawn.

She ran her hands through her hair, gripping her head tightly in frustration. This wasn't fair! She pushed herself from the couch, pacing the living room in anger, trying to push past the overwhelming memories. Finally, she gave up. She grabbed her keys and fled the house, almost running to her car in her haste to escape.

She wasn't surprised when she ended up pulling in front of the Psych office; it had become a second home to her, though she was surprised to see Lassiter's car in another parking spot. She got out of the car and walked into the office, meeting Lassiter's gaze when he turned to look at her.

"You should be home," He said.

"I was."

He gave her a second look, narrowing his eyes at her expression before turning to study the office.

"Why was he here?" Lassiter asked. "There were no clients, no cases. What could he possibly have been doing here?"

Juliet turned to look over the office, the answer coming to her as surely as if Shawn were standing beside her, whispering in her ear. "He was saying goodbye," she said quietly.

Lassiter lifted his eyebrows in surprise. "He was going to run, then?" He asked gruffly.

"No," She answered quickly. She stepped further into the office, looking around at the souvenirs and pictures that filled the space. "He was saying goodbye to Psych, to this part of his life." Another tear escaped, and she angrily wiped it away, unwilling to break down in front of Lassiter, unwilling to break down at all.

Lassiter pressed his lips together and Juliet caught a glimpse of sadness in his expression before he cleared his face. That little bit of emotion she saw on her partner's face caused another tear to fall.

"What…what did he mean? That no one believed how he had solved that first case?" The question had been eating at her since that last session with Cole. She never had learned all of the details of how Shawn came to work for the department.

Lassiter shifted uncomfortably and cleared his throat before he answered. "Shawn called in a tip on a crime. When he came in for a commendation, we pulled him into an interrogation room. He tried to sell us some line about him being able to read the guy's guilt by watching him on the news, but it just didn't seem plausible! And when we started to book him, he said he was psychic."

"So…so he didn't come right out and say he was psychic?" She asked in confusion.

"No. He only said that because we…threatened to arrest him."

She had so many questions, and this…this was not how she envisioned the start of Shawn's lie. She swiped her hand across her face again, vaguely noting the way it was shaking.

"Are you okay?" He was genuinely asking the question, in his own brisk manner, and that was the last straw.

"No. No, I'm not okay. Because it hurts to see Shawn like that and I didn't think I would really care like_ this_ and I do! And I can't stand to see it, but it's all I can see! Every time I close my eyes, I see him…" Her voice held a tremor, but she continued; the words were coming out of her mouth and she couldn't stop them, not yet. "But all I can think of, when it's not about the pain he's in or the torment Cole is putting him through…is him telling me he loves me in one breath and saying he's psychic in the next! And it's selfish, I know it is, but I just can't stop thinking about that!" Her voice broke and she covered her face, turning away from Lassiter.

She expected him to make an excuse and leave her alone; instead, he put his hand on her shoulder and squeezed gently. "I know. It's okay."

"It's not okay! It's not…" She shook her head frantically, trying to swallow the sobs that were threatening to escape.

"O'Hara, listen to me. This…this is not your fault. Shawn being where he is right now, that's Cole's fault. And yes, Shawn lied. A lot. But…the blame starts with me. He told me the truth and I didn't believe him. I backed him into a corner and he took the only option he saw. I'm not saying it was the right choice or the best one, but it was the only one he saw. And he loves you. He may have lied about being psychic, but he wasn't lying about his feelings for you. And if you tell _anyone_ that I just said that…"

She gave a laugh that showed just how close she was to breaking down. When she noticed how wild the laughter was, she forced herself to reign in her emotions, taking deep breaths and trying to swallow the hysteria. He squeezed her shoulder another time before stepping back and walking away.

"I'm going to grab some dinner. Coming?"

He didn't look back as he asked and she appreciated that just as much as the things he had just told her. She took a moment to clear her throat before answering him. "Yeah. I'll come." She wasn't hungry, but she really didn't want to be alone right now. She took another minute to wipe her eyes before looking across the office.

No specific memories hit her. Not because there weren't any; there were. Hundreds of them. It was just…more of a feeling. This office brought out a sense of camaraderie, of friends getting together after closing a difficult case, of movie nights and childish pranks. But those feelings were empty, hollow with the threat that Shawn would never return. Instead of those warm feelings of friendship, she was left feeling cold and alone.

…

"You must be the computer genius from the FBI," Karen held out her hand to greet the young man standing in front of her, a part of her beginning to worry when she saw how young he really was.

"Yes, Charlie Parker. And you must be Chief Vick. Good to meet you; I'm just sorry it's under these circumstances." He grasped her hand firmly before letting go, his eyes sweeping across the station as he pushed his curly hair out of his face.

"You and me both. " She hesitated before deciding she needed to ask. "I don't mean to be rude, but there is a man's life at stake, and he means a lot to this station. And I mean no offense, but you look very young. Do you honestly think you'll be able to help us?"

He gave a small smile before nodding his confirmation. "I understand your hesitation. You're not the first to ask me this. To answer, I graduated college when most of the people my age were just starting high school and I've been working with the FBI ever since. I'm not going to brag, because that just isn't something I like to do, but I am the best person that you could have to break this encryption; and if I didn't feel like that was the case, if I truly believed someone else was the better choice, I would tell you. I _will_ tell you. Immediately. There is a man's life at stake, as you said, and that leaves no room for me to worry about my ego."

"Then, I'll show you where you can set up your things."

"I would appreciate that." He smiled at her and Karen felt herself responding with a genuine smile. His earnestness was refreshing and she felt her hope for a good outcome grow even more.

After she introduced him to the men and women that worked in the technology department, he sat his computer bag on an empty table and began setting up. She stepped away from him, watching as he started to work. He was absorbed in his task as soon as he started, mumbling to himself, moving his hands and gesturing as he thought out loud.

There was something familiar about him, but she just couldn't place it. It wasn't until he was staring off into the distance, his intelligent gaze unfocused as he got lost in thought that she saw it. That look in his eyes was the same look that Shawn got every time he worked on a difficult case. The intelligence, the focus…and the weight of responsibility that came with knowing you were the only who could solve a case or save a life. She blinked at the realization, studying the man even harder. She nodded to herself, pleased with what she saw, before making an excuse and leaving the room. This Charlie Parker would be the key to finding Shawn.

…

This wasn't the first time he had watched Shawn sleep. When he was a baby, Henry had watched his son sleep and listened to his even breathing before he fell asleep himself, the innocence of his son clashing with the stress of his job and calming him. He had even watched over his son when he was in a hospital, several times; and each time, he had marveled at the sense of innocence that his son exuded. Even as an adult, he hadn't lost that quality.

That innocence…it was being stolen from his son. Already he could see the haggard, drawn expression Shawn wore, even in unconsciousness.

When they had found Shawn after he was kidnapped by Garth Lawnmore, Henry had been relieved; because as bad as the reality was, it could have been much worse. He would know; his imagination had worked constantly to provide him with many possible outcomes, each one worse than the last. He had been afraid the gunshot wound would be serious, more serious than it was, and help wouldn't reach Shawn in time to save him. He had been afraid the men who took Shawn wouldn't just stop at a gunshot; that they would hurt Shawn even more.

He didn't have to imagine anything this time. Every second of this…this nightmare, this_hell _was being recorded, was being videotaped. His son…every twinge, every wince, every grunt, every pained yell playing out in front of Henry and replaying in vivid detail every time he closed his eyes…Henry didn't have the same memory that his son had, but he would never forget this.

"_They didn't believe me when I told them how I figured out the guy was guilty, so it was tell them I was psychic or spend a night in jail. And really, who would believe me when I told them my f-"_

Even after everything that had happened between him and his son, even after the pain he had already gone through, Shawn was still trying to protect him. Henry put his head between his knees, fighting to control his breathing, pushing back the blackness that was edging around his vision.

"Please…don't…"

Henry's head snapped up, his eyes falling on his son again. Shawn was craning his neck away from Cole, trying to avoid the needle being pushed into his skin.

"I have to. I don't want you to escape, and I already saw you trying to get your hands loose."

"Please…" He closed his eyes, shoulders slumping as the drug worked its way through his body.

"_Please, Daddy! Just a few more minutes!"_

_Henry eyed his son, crossing his arms in mock sternness. "You asked for a few more minutes a half-hour ago."_

"_Please?"_

"_Nope. Sorry, kiddo."_

"_But Daddy, it's Christmas! Santa's coming!"_

_Henry leaned down to scoop up his son and place him on his shoulders. "Yes, he is. But he won't stop here if you're still awake."_

"_But…I have to get the cookies out!"_

"_I'll get them; don't worry."_

"_What about the milk?"_

"_I've got it under control, Shawn." He placed his son in his bed and pulled the covers over him. "Now, go to sleep!"_

"I used to watch my brother sleep when he was younger. It always struck me how innocent, how helpless he looked as he slept. It always made me think I would do anything to protect him. When he started getting into trouble, all I could think of was that innocence he had as a child, and…I did everything I could to save him." Cole turned to look into the camera. "How does it make you feel? Seeing him like this? Do you realize now…how wrong you were to turn your back on him?" He turned away from the camera after asking this and walked off the screen.

Henry bowed his head, his hand covering his eyes as he wiped away the moisture that gathered there.

_Green eyes looked up at him in excitement, but Henry could tell his son was fighting to stay awake. "Goodnight, Daddy!"_

"_Goodnight, Son."_

* * *

AN: Does Charlie Parker sound familiar to anyone besides VoicesInTheWind? :) Thank you for your wonderful reviews! They were especially helpful since I struggled with this chapter. I hope you enjoyed!


	7. Chapter 7

AN: Kudos to those of you who recognized Charlie Parker as being modeled after Charlie Eppes. And definitely kudos to those of you who recognized Charlie Parker as being a jazz musician. I'm impressed!

* * *

_Day Two:_

"It's time to wake up, Shawn. We have to make the most our day. There's only two more after this!"

The memory of what happened last time he refused to open his eyes spurred Shawn to comply, though he took his time.

"Good morning!" Cole exclaimed.

"You know, I really prefer to sleep in; so if we could start later today, that would be great." The words came out with a slight rasp and Shawn cleared his throat.

"You're not excited to continue where we left off? I seriously hope you will be much more forthcoming today than you were yesterday." Cole shook the water bottle he held in his hands, a smile crossing his face when he saw Shawn staring at it.

Shawn lifted his eyes back to Cole's. "What else do you want from me, Cole? We've already covered how my secret got out and how people reacted to it. What more could you possibly want?" He licked his lips, noticing how dry they were. He was just starting to realize how hungry and thirsty he was.

"So much more. But first, let's get you some water. I don't want you to accidently die of dehydration."

Cole twisted the top off of the bottle and walked over to Shawn, putting the bottle against Shawn's mouth. Shawn greedily sipped at the water, closing his eyes in relief as the moisture went down his throat. When Cole pulled the bottle away, Shawn couldn't stop his head from following it, hoping to get just a drop more.

"Now, to answer your question-"

"What? No breakfast?" Shawn interrupted.

"Why would I do that? Your hunger won't kill you before I do. As I was starting to say, I would love to hear about your relationships with your father and Gus. I mean, I saw how you interacted with them; like I said, I did my research. But I would love to get an insider's viewpoint. Not to mention that you still won't talk about Juliet, and I am _oh so curious_ about you and her. Talk about an unlikely relationship; the beauty and the clown? She deserved so much better than you."

Shawn tilted his head, refusing to show a reaction to those words, even though the truth of that statement hit him right in the chest and left him breathless. Yes, she did deserve better than him, but he had always known that. She was too special, too smart, too…everything to ever belong with him. He had never deserved her or her attention.

"Still won't answer, I see."

Shawn just let the corners of his mouth curl up in response.

"Maybe you'll talk about your father? Gus?"

Shawn gave a sigh, passing off the impression that he was bored. "What could you possibly want to know about them?"

"Your father…did you have a close relationship with him?"

"You said you did your research on us; you tell me."

Cole shook his head. "No, no, no. It would be much more fascinating to hear from you."

"On the contrary; my father and I know exactly what kind of relationship we have. It would be much more fascinating hearing someone else's opinion."

Cole gave a slow smile and Shawn took a deep breath. It was easy to tell when Cole came up with a new idea, one that would cause Shawn even more pain.

"Okay, then. I saw a father who never appreciated his son. I saw a father that constantly expected the best from his son and who couldn't hide his disappointment in him when he failed to meet his expectations. I saw a son who did everything he could to make his father proud, but always fell _just _short of succeeding."

"Hmm. You saw that in the short time you watched us? Interesting…" He looked off into the distance, trying to think of a way to derail Cole's new line of questions.

_He pried his eyes open, looking around the hospital room. In his mind, he was still in that abandoned gas station, his shoulder bandaged with a shammy and duct tape, and it was a surprise to realize he was safe now. He felt his heart rate return to normal when he saw his father dozing in the chair by his bed, felt that tight knot of tension and nerves finally relax as he studied his father._

_It meant a lot to Shawn, that his father had not let anyone stop him from joining the search for his son. He couldn't describe the hope that he had felt when he saw Lassiter and his father standing outside of the gas station; it didn't matter that they had left without noticing him—well, yes it did matter. It had scared him when they walked off without him, but…his dad was looking for him. And Shawn knew he wouldn't stop looking until he found his son._

Cole tilted his head, still smirking. "Do you disagree with my evaluation?"

"Huh?" Shawn shook himself out of his musing, refocusing on the question. "Oh, no. Not entirely. You just missed the part where my father refused to stay out of the sick game Yin had planned for me and that he wouldn't leave my side that whole night. Or that he wouldn't stop looking for me when I was shot. You know, little things like that." Shawn smiled at Cole. "If you had studied us for longer than a few months, you might have been able to get a clearer picture."

Cole nodded at him, "Point to you, Shawn. You won't mind, though, if I ask how your father took it when you got him fired from his job?"

"Perhaps you should ask how he responded when I got his job back for him."

The words Shawn did not say rang in the air, and Cole smiled in satisfaction. "I thought so."

Shawn looked away, his gaze moving about the cabin again. Anything to avoid looking at Cole or the camera.

"What about Gus?"

An involuntary smile crossed Shawn's face at the mention of his friend's name. "What about Gus?"

"He's your best friend, right? He must have realized how upset you were. I'm surprised that he left your side, that he abandoned you when your secret came out."

It took a lot of effort for Shawn to keep the smile on his face. "You're fishing, Cole."

"And you're refusing to respond to the comment, which leads me to draw the conclusion that he wasn't as supportive as you would have liked."

"Or…it could just be that I don't focus well on an empty stomach."

"You'll just have to get used to it. Come on, Shawn. Share."

Shawn closed his eyes and rested his head against the back of the chair.

"_Shawn…I don't think I can be around you. Not now. I have to save my job…I just can't do this."_

He had really screwed up, hadn't he? Even Gus, his best friend who had stuck by him through every stupid prank, every stupid _lie, _had had enough. He couldn't even stand to be around Shawn anymore.

"You're still not going to talk, are you?" Cole asked.

Shawn mentally patted himself on the back when he heard how frustrated Cole was. He chose to let his silence speak for itself.

"Ahh, Shawn," Cole sighed. "I had really hoped you would want to talk today. After all, you saw what happened when you didn't respond yesterday."

Shawn opened his eyes, making sure Cole could see him when he rolled his eyes. "And I thought you would have realized how stubborn I am."

"Did you get that trait from your father?" Cole asked quickly.

Shawn just smiled slowly, enjoying the way that little gesture irritated Cole even further. He watched as Cole spun around and grabbed the black bag he had pulled the knife from the day before. Then, he walked around the table to face Shawn, placing the bag on the table in front of him.

Shawn watched as Cole gave him a cold smile and put his hand inside the bag. Slowly, Cole pulled out another knife and placed it on the table, watching Shawn's reaction. Next, he pulled out a plain black cord that Shawn just looked at curiously. Cole wrapped the cord around his fingers, gripping it in his hands and stretching it out. Shawn's curiosity cleared, and he swallowed convulsively. His imagination was more than capable of supplying him with the feeling of the cord around his neck, cutting off his air. Cole's smile grew as he put the cord down on the table and reached into the bag again.

Shawn turned his head away and closed his eyes. He didn't need to see what else Cole pulled from that bag of terror. The sudden _crack_ of a whip filled the air and Shawn flinched, gritting his jaw against the fear that was beginning to overwhelm him. He cast his mind out, searching for something, anything else he could focus on; but for once, his mind failed him. Cole was obviously pleased with Shawn's reaction, because another _crack _filled the air. Shawn fought to control the automatic flinch, cursing himself for giving such an obvious reaction the first time.

"Do you know that I learned how to do rescue breathing and CPR, Shawn? Just in case something happened before the fourth day. We wouldn't want to finish this too soon."

"You're a sick, twisted psycho, Cole! Your brother was better off in jail. At least he was away from you," Shawn rasped.

"I would have done anything for my brother! Don't you dare say he was better off without me or better off in that jail! He died there!"

Shawn opened his eyes to see Cole stalk towards him, fury on his face, the knife clenched in his hands. He knew he shouldn't say anything, but he had never been able to control his mouth. It wasn't like being silent was going to help him now, anyways. "Yeah, lucky him. Now he never has to deal with you again."

And the knife slashed across his chest.

"_You've got a smart mouth, huh? Huh?" _

_The gun was pointing at him again, and Shawn just looked at the man with wide eyes. Was he really going to be shot a second time?_

"_Now, look. I got it under control," Garth said. "You want me to shoot him right now, myself? I will."_

"_Not to be a stickler here, but you did…you did shoot me once already." Why couldn't he ever shut up? He knew it wasn't smart for him to open his mouth and say anything, but he could never stop himself._

Cole grabbed Shawn's hair and pulled his head back sharply. He leaned down to whisper in Shawn's ear, his hot breath washing across his face. "You know how to push my buttons, Shawn, I'll give you that. But doing that will only bring you more pain."

The knife moved to rest beside Shawn's neck. Shawn looked at Cole out of the corner of his eyes, grimacing slightly in pain.

"What? You going to end this now?" He asked, sure Cole didn't miss the lack of fear in his voice. Grand gestures like what Cole was doing now didn't scare Shawn. Cole couldn't make the final move to kill him until the fourth day.

Cole glared at him, forcing Shawn's head back even further. Slowly, he traced the knife across Shawn's neck, up to his face, across his cheeks and under his eyes. Shawn forced himself to breathe, forced himself to hide the fear. No, Cole wouldn't kill him yet; but that didn't mean serious damage wouldn't happen. The knife paused at the corner of his eye and Shawn blinked rapidly. Cole's chuckle made in flinch slightly, and the knife moved even closer to his eye.

"I wouldn't move, if I were you," Cole whispered.

The encouragement wasn't needed. The only voluntary movements he was making came from his breathing, and even that he was trying to minimize.

"It would be so simple for the knife to just…slip right now. I'm pretty sure that wouldn't be fatal…but I'm also pretty sure you would want it to be."

The knife moved away from his eye to circle back around his ear, and then back to his neck.

"I wasn't expecting to get such a reaction with this instrument," Cole said, letting go of Shawn's hair and repositioning the knife on Shawn's chest. "I'm pleasantly surprised."

Shawn clenched his eyes shut and tilted his head back as the knife was dragged slowly across his chest. His back arched and still Cole continued to drag the knife across his body. In the next instant, the knife was digging even deeper, and Shawn's mouth stretched wide, an involuntary, pain-filled shout being forced from him.

"Yes, pleasantly surprised."

* * *

AN: Thank you for your great reviews! I am grateful for each and every one of them!


	8. Chapter 8

Henry rubbed his eyes and looked up at Gus as he entered the Chief's office. He blinked several times, forcing his bleary eyes to focus. He hadn't slept well in the chair as he watched over his son; and the little sleep he had gotten had been restless and filled with the echoing sound of his son in pain.

"Why don't you get some coffee and something to eat? I'll stay in the room," Gus said, his eyes sliding away from Henry to land on Shawn.

"Thanks," Henry said gruffly, slowly standing up and stretching.

"Did he wake up?"

"Briefly. Cole gave him another sedative."

Gus nodded and Henry walked out of the room, placing his hand on the younger man's shoulder and squeezing it lightly as he passed. Ignoring the looks of pity he saw on many of the officer's faces, he headed straight to the coffee pot. Those officers were already counting Shawn out. They didn't believe he would make it out of this situation alive, but Henry would never give up his hope that Shawn would escape or that the computer genius he had caught a glimpse of last night would be able to locate him. His step faltered slightly when he saw Detective O'Hara leaning against the counter and staring deeply into her cup.

"_Hey, Dad! I'd like you to meet someone." _

_Shawn wrapped his arm around Juliet's shoulder and pulled her closer, smiling into her eyes before looking back at his father. Henry raised his eyebrows before turning back to the stove. "I already met Detective O'Hara, Shawn. You've been working with her for five years, and I've been working with her for the last year."_

_Shawn nodded. "Yes, you've met Juliet the detective. I'd like to introduce you to Juliet…my girlfriend."_

_The young detective gave an embarrassed smile, unconsciously moving even closer to Shawn's side as Henry began studying her, his eyes narrowing with his scrutiny. "Well, I wondered when you were going to get the guts to tell me, Shawn."_

_Henry smothered a laugh when he saw the two lovebirds look at each in surprise._

"_How…how did you know? We only told Gus!" Shawn exclaimed._

_Henry snorted. "Please, kid. You have to accept you will only ever be the student, never the master." _

"_I take offense at that," Shawn muttered to Juliet._

"_He does have a point, Shawn. Subtlety isn't exactly your strong suit."_

_At this, Henry chuckled, his approval for the young woman growing. He had a feeling she would be good for his son._

Henry reached for the coffee pot, studying the woman out of the corner of his eye. He didn't…quite know how to act around her. He had been surprised when he had learned she had been the one to turn his son in. He had seen the two of them interact and seen the obvious love they had for each other. But then again, when he stopped to think about it…that was a very big secret to keep from a loved one. And it wasn't like she had found out because Shawn had chosen to come clean; the secret had come out on accident. The truth had blind-sided her; she had been given no warning. When Henry thought about it that way, he understood a little better just what Juliet had been thinking.

"Juliet," Henry greeted quietly as he stared down into his coffee cup, too.

"Mr. Spencer," She returned, her response even quieter than Henry's.

He hesitated, floundering as he tried to find something to say. "I thought I told you to call me Henry," He finally said, giving a small smile. He saw her shoulders slump even lower than before.

"I don't…I can't…" She shook her head, her fingers grasping her cup so tightly that her knuckles turned white.

Henry looked a little more closely at her, and he noticed for the first time just how pale she was, noticed the shadows beneath her eyes. She was barely holding on, and Henry could relate. He took a deep breath and turned to face her, putting a hand on her shoulder. She glanced at him quickly before looking away.

He used a name he knew she would react to, one he had never used for her before. "Jules…" Her gaze snapped back to his, her eyes widening slightly in surprise. "Yes, you can. And I know…" He shifted, uncomfortable. "I know what you're feeling. Each of us…we all understand." He cleared his throat and squeezed her shoulder gently. "You're not alone in this. Okay?"

He saw her eyes fill with tears and saw her stubbornly refuse to give way to those emotions. She nodded, and Henry smiled at her before removing his hand from her shoulder and returning to his mug.

"Thank you," She said, after silence had reigned between them for the next several seconds.

"You're welcome."

There was a commotion from the Chief's office as Gus knocked his chair over in his haste to reach the door. Henry and Juliet were already moving, running back to the room as Gus' eyes fell on Henry. His mouth moved, but no sound came out. It didn't need to; they all understood. Lassiter and the Chief had already fallen in step behind Henry and Juliet when they had seen the two start running. Henry took several deep breaths as he entered the room, trying to prepare himself for whatever happened next. It was a useless effort. How could you ever prepare for something like this? You couldn't; it was impossible.

"You're not excited to continue where we left off? I seriously hope you will be much more forthcoming today than you were yesterday."

"What else do you want from me, Cole? We've already covered how my secret got out and how people reacted to it. What more could you possibly want?"

Henry felt even more worried for his son when he realized how dehydrated he already was. And when exactly had Shawn eaten last? It wasn't like he had had an appetite before he had been kidnapped; Henry knew the scandal had robbed his son of his usual enjoyment of food.

"So much more. But first, let's get you some water. I don't want you to accidently die of dehydration."

The relief Henry felt was short-lived. There was no way that Shawn had received enough water. The little smile that crossed Henry's face with Shawn's interruption of Cole disappeared when the man started prodding into Shawn's relationships with himself and Gus. And the comment that Shawn had never deserved Juliet…well, Henry knew that was particularly hard for Shawn to hear, especially since he didn't realize Juliet still loved him.

Henry could feel his anger growing as Cole summarized his relationship with his son. He glowered at the screen, gritting his teeth against the words that he wanted to say, that he wanted to yell at the screen. Yes, he expected the best from his son, but he was a father! What father wouldn't push their son to be even better than he was? And he _was _proud of his son! The work he had done for the police department the past several years had been impressive; Shawn had always managed to solve a case, no matter how difficult or bizarre it happened to be.

"Do you disagree with my evaluation?" Cole asked.

"Huh? Oh, no. Not entirely. You just missed the part where my father refused to stay out of the sick game Yin had planned for me and that he wouldn't leave my side that whole night. Or that he wouldn't stop looking for me when I was shot. You know, little things like that." Shawn smiled at Cole. "If you had studied us for longer than a few months, you might have been able to get a clearer picture."

Henry felt another burst of pride at his son's response. That Shawn was still managing to fight back…Henry knew that his son was strong, though he always hid it behind a childish exterior. Henry was seeing his strength even clearer now, and it made him even prouder. That was _his _son that wasn't cowering in fear. That was _his _son that was staring a psychopath in the face and not even flinching.

"Point to you, Shawn. You won't mind, though, if I ask how your father took it when you got him fired from his job?"

"Perhaps you should ask how he responded when I got his job back for him," Shawn shot back quickly.

"I thought so," Cole said, and Henry felt his heart sink. Had he ever told his son how proud he was of him? Even after the Yin/Yang cases, Henry hadn't said anything. He had just assumed his son would understand from his actions how proud he really was of him.

Cole moved on to a new topic, and Henry leaned forward in his seat, watching his son pick and choose which questions to answer. Even though Henry couldn't see Cole's face, he could tell the man was getting annoyed.

"Ahh, Shawn," Cole sighed. "I had really hoped you would want to talk today. After all, you saw what happened when you didn't respond yesterday."

"And I thought you would have realized how stubborn I am."

"Did you get that trait from your father?" Cole asked quickly.

Henry felt his stomach twist in unease as Shawn gave a slow smile in response. Cole wasn't going to appreciate this. He couldn't see what Cole was doing after he spun around and walked off the screen, but that made it worse. Because even though Shawn was an expert at hiding his emotions, Henry was his father. He could tell exactly what Shawn was feeling. And the fear that Shawn was struggling to hide made Henry's throat close. He watched, worried, as Shawn closed his eyes and turned his face away. The sound of a whip made each person in the office flinch with Shawn.

Lassiter swore, and Henry briefly closed his eyes, his own curses spilling from his mouth. There was another crack, and he watched as Shawn grew even paler than he had been, noticed the tiny tremors that started in his hands.

"Do you know that I learned how to do rescue breathing and CPR, Shawn? Just in case something happened before the fourth day. We wouldn't want to finish this too soon."

Henry rubbed a shaking hand across his mouth, a low moan escaping him when Shawn responded. "You're a sick, twisted psycho, Cole! Your brother was better off in jail. At least he was away from you," he rasped.

_No, no Shawn. Don't antagonize him!_

"I would have done anything for my brother! Don't you dare say he was better off without me or better off in that jail! He died there!" Cole spat out as he stalked towards Shawn.

Shawn opened his mouth, and Henry knew that was it. Whatever Shawn said next would push Cole completely off the edge.

"Yeah, lucky him. Now he never has to deal with you again."

He was right. Cole lashed out, the knife swiping across Shawn's chest. There were no words to express the horror that Henry felt after that, when he saw the knife resting against Shawn's neck; there were no words to express the fear he felt when he saw how helpless his son was to protect himself. But when his son,_ his son,_ spoke, his voice was clear and strong. There was no trace of fear.

"What? You going to end this now?"

_Where did you get this strength, kid? Even I wouldn't be as calm as you. _Henry froze as Cole traced the knife around his son's face, his skin crawling when the knife rested next to Shawn's eye. _He wouldn't…would he?_

There was an audible sigh of relief from each person in the room as the knife moved away from Shawn's face, but their relief was short lived.

"I wasn't expecting to get such a reaction with this instrument. I'm pleasantly surprised."

Henry's fists clenched as his son lost the fight to keep his pain silent, and he felt his stomach churn as he saw his son's blood flow from his wounds. Never before had the sight of blood had this effect on Henry. But then, he had never watched his son being tortured before.

As more and more time passed, Henry found himself pleading silently with Shawn. _Pass out, kid. Please…just pass out. He's only continuing because you're awake. Please. Stop being so stubborn, and just…let go for a while. You don't need to stay awake, Shawn._

He felt tears prick his eyes as the next swipe of the knife only brought a low groan. _It's okay, kid. It's okay._ In the next moment, the groan faded and Shawn slumped in the chair. Cole gripped Shawn's hair and pulled his head up to check his unconsciousness before dropping it roughly and facing the camera completely. He gave the camera a smile and held up the knife, stained with Shawn's blood, before quickly wiping it off on Shawn's shirt.

At this, Henry pushed up from the chair, the curses that spilled from his mouth blending with Gus, Lassiter, and the Chief as they each voiced their outrage. The sudden shattering of glass caused them to pause and turn towards Juliet. For several moments, she just stared at the glass vase she had thrown across the room; then, she strode for the door, pulling it open and slamming it shut behind her.

Cole's chuckle broke through the silence she left in her wake. Henry turned back to the screen, afraid he would see Cole doing something else to his son. Instead, he said, "I do believe this is going better than I had planned. Just wait until you see what happens next."

…

Juliet strode into the interrogation room, her vision blurred from the tears that filled her eyes. She forced them away, pacing across the room.

He had almost lost control, when Cole had cracked the whip. She had seen him trying to remain calm, had seen the way he clenched his hands into fists as his fingers started to tremble. She had almost lost control right along with him. Seeing him like this, seeing him in pain…she couldn't take it.

"_What? You going to end this now?"_

He didn't even sound scared when Cole held the knife right next to his neck. _He didn't even sound scared._

And after that, listening to him…She felt her knees weaken and quickly leaned against the wall. She felt tears start to fall down her face, and this time she didn't fight it. She let herself lose control. A deep sob was forced from her and her knees gave out. She slid down the wall, pulling her knees up to her chest and resting her head against them.

"_I love you." _

_Juliet turned to look at him, forcing herself to remain calm. She really wanted to hear him say those words, but she wasn't going to push him to say them. He would say them when he was good and ready. And when he was ready, she would say them right back to him. She had loved him since…actually, she couldn't pinpoint the exact time she had grown to love him. To her, it felt like she had always felt this way for him._

_She tilted her head and gave a small laugh, willing to provide him with a way to joke out of those words, just in case he regretted them. "I know. And one day, I might just pass pineapple as the love of your life."_

_He looked slightly uncomfortable and a little embarrassed, but there was no teasing glint to his eyes. He looked serious._

"_No. Jules…I love you." _

_She turned to face him completely, studying him in the moonlight, the waves crashing behind them. He had said it again. He had told her he loved her, twice. "You're serious."_

_What if he wasn't? She didn't want to get her hopes up, didn't want to be left hanging when he took those words back._

"_Very." He nodded, and she saw him swallow. He was nervous, but he was still standing by what he had said. He wasn't rescinding that declaration. She couldn't describe the joy that came with that realization. _

_She pulled him down for a kiss, the joy she felt and the love she had for him making the kiss passionate. When they finally pulled away, they were both breathless. She felt her mouth curve in amusement as she saw the shocked smile on Shawn's face._

"_Shawn, I love you too."_

_She couldn't imagine being even happier than she was when she heard Shawn tell her he loved her; but she was wrong. When she saw his face light up when she gave her own declaration, she felt tears prick her eyes. He pulled her towards him, trailing kissing from her shoulder up her neck, and stopping near her ear._

"_I love you," he whispered to her. "I love you."_

She loved him. She always had, always would. And Shawn…he loved her, too. It was obvious in the memories that had surfaced after this nightmare started. It was obvious in the way he refused to talk about her when Cole questioned him.

He didn't think she loved him.

He was in that room, suffering, believing that no one cared he was in pain, believing that Juliet didn't even care about him. The questions that Cole was asking were especially cruel because Shawn honestly believed _no one cared. _She didn't realize she was sobbing so hard, that she was so close to hyperventilating. Not until someone pulled her into his arms and gently pressed her head to his chest. She wrapped her arms around him, gripping the back of his shirt in her fists, and muffling her sobs with his shoulder.

"It's okay," Henry whispered, slowly rubbing her back. "It's okay."

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AN: As always, I am humbled by your response to this story. Your comments always inspire me! Thank you!


	9. Chapter 9

AN: Just so you guys know, I am currently working on a project with the fabulous Olivia94! Keep an eye out! We'll be posting under the penname Psydekicks!

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Karen stared after Henry as he went in search of O'Hara, sadness pulling down the corners of her mouth. These people weren't just her co-workers, they were her friends, and she hated to see them break down like this. Her gaze landed on Lassiter, who was staring at Guster in concern. She turned to follow his gaze, studying Gus' slumped form in sympathy. After Juliet had fled the office, he had sat back down in his chair, looking at the screen blankly. She crossed the room and kneeled in front of him, gently placing her hand on his arm.

"Mr. Guster?"

Gus blinked, removing is eyes from the screen to look at her. "Chief?" He replied quietly.

"Are you okay?" She asked, just as softly.

Slowly, he shook his head. "No. I don't think so." He looked past her to look at the screen again, but Karen knew he wasn't really seeing anything. "Do you know that Shawn and I have been best friends since we were little? I don't…actually remember a time when he wasn't my friend. We had out problems, but even when we were fighting, we never doubted…never doubted our friendship. Even when we were kids, it was like Shawn attracted trouble." He shook his head, "His father and I had this…unspoken agreement. He counted on me to keep an eye on Shawn, maybe talk him down from his more…dangerous ideas, or even run for help if it looked like Shawn was bent on doing something that would land him in the hospital. I wasn't always successful, but there was this one time…"

"_Shawn, what's going on?"_

_The two boys that had started edging closer to Shawn took a quick step back, though the glares that they had been giving him seemed to get even stronger._

"_Nothing, Gus. Isn't your mom picking you up?"_

_Gus cocked his head to the side, his eyebrows drawing together in confusion. Why didn't Shawn turn around? "She's picking both of us up. Remember?" It was Gus' birthday and his mom was going to drop them off at the arcade for the whole afternoon. Gus had bypassed on a larger party, choosing instead to just celebrate with his best friend for a few hours and then have a small celebration with the rest of his family later that evening._

"_I'm not going, Gus."_

"_What are you talking about, Shawn? We're going to the arcade, remember?" Shawn wouldn't forget his birthday. They'd been looking forward to this all week!_

"_I'm not going, Gus," Shawn repeated, speaking the words slower and enunciating a little more._

"_Why not? Come on, Shawn, let's go."_

"_No. It's stupid. I'm not going to the arcade with you," Shawn said, and Gus blinked at the harshness in his tone. This wasn't right. Something was wrong._

"_What? But…it's my birthday!"_

_He saw Shawn's shoulders tense, and he took a step forward, trying to see what was wrong. Shawn still wouldn't turn around to face him._

"_I don't care, Gus! I'm not going to the stupid arcade with you!"_

_Gus froze, his mouth parting in shock. _

"_You'd better hurry. I'm sure your _mommy's_ waiting for you," Shawn mocked. _

"It wasn't right. I knew something was wrong, so I left to find a teacher. We got back just in time. One of the kids was holding Shawn while the other one was getting ready to punch him. Shawn, well…once he got tired of insisting that he had the whole situation under control, he thanked me. But I knew that Shawn had saved me first. If I hadn't left, they would have beaten me up, too."

Karen found herself at a loss for words. She hesitated before finally saying, "I'm sorry."

Gus blinked, meeting her eyes again. "If…when…we find him, do you think he'll blame me…blame us? That we couldn't find him before he got hurt?"

It wasn't a grown adult asking that question, it was a child whose best friend was in trouble. Karen blinked back the tears that surfaced from that simple question.

"Yes. Yes, Gus, he'll understand. He'll know how hard we looked to find him. He won't be angry at how long it took."

Guster didn't look convinced, but he nodded at her answer and resumed staring at the screen. She squeezed his arm before pushing herself up and leaving the office to find Charlie Parker.

"Are you okay?"

She turned to find her Head Detective following her through the police station. "Are you?" She asked, countering his question as they entered the room that Charlie was working in.

He pursed his lips, but didn't answer. Karen nodded in agreement to his unspoken response. Yes, she understood. She and Lassiter didn't know Shawn as well as O'Hara, Guster, or Henry, which meant they were left with the difficult role of supporting and holding the group together.

"Chief, Detective Lassiter," Charlie greeted them, without looking away from his computer. He swiped a shaking hand across his mouth before returning to his frantic typing.

Karen noticed the gesture and felt her stomach clench with fear. "What's wrong? Please tell me you're going to be able to find him."

Charlie tore his gaze away from the screen to meet her eyes. "I can find him," he said in determination. "It was just very…difficult to see what your friend is going through." He nodded at the television that was set up in the corner.

"How close are you?" Lassiter asked.

"The encryptions are just as complex and multilayered as I thought they would be. Now that I've worked with them more, I estimate being able to break the encryptions by late tonight; tomorrow morning at the latest."

Karen met Lassiter's look with a somber one of her own, afraid to hope. Charlie's timeline sounded good; they might be able to get to Shawn before the fourth day. But there was still a lot that Cole could do to Shawn in that amount of time.

…

The Chief headed back towards her office after their quick meeting with Parker, but Lassiter walked the opposite direction, needing to check on his partner. He walked into the observation room, his gaze falling on O'Hara and Henry. There were sitting against the wall, Henry's arm around O'Hara's shoulder, holding her tightly as she cried.

The speaker was on, letting Lassiter hear what Henry was saying. He was telling her a story, something about Shawn trying to parachute off the roof of the house. Lassiter didn't care what it was about; he was just glad the story had managed to make his partner smile.

"Stupid kid," Henry said affectionately.

There was silence in the room until O'Hara cleared her throat and started telling a story of her own.

"I was working undercover at a sorority house…" When she got to the part where the lights had gone out and Shawn and Gus had run screaming from the house, she was laughing breathlessly. "He was giving his…girlish scream…and seeing him try to act brave as soon as he realized I was watching him..." She shook her head in amusement, wiping away the tears that were finally beginning to slow.

Lassiter nodded and flipped the switch on the speaker to the off position as he left the room.

"McNabb!" He barked as he reached the end of the hallway.

"Sir?"

"No one's allowed down this hallway. Got that?"

"Yes, sir."

"Good." Their privacy ensured, he walked to his desk and stared at the folder that lay right on the top of the pile. He opened it and sat down, studying the contents. It wasn't right, that they only had one lead for Spencer's location. And it didn't matter how many more times he went through this folder; no new information was going to make itself known.

He hated this. They were stuck, waiting for the code to break and forced to watch the psycho's twisted game play out. They couldn't do anything else! The only other hope they had was if Spencer escaped. And the longer this went on without a chance for Spencer to run, the less likely Shawn would be able to run when he finally got the chance.

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AN: I know it's short. Sorry. The good news? The next chapter is longer, and pretty much ready to be posted. You know, if you're interested. Again, thank you so much for your wonderful reviews!


	10. Chapter 10

AN: Thank you for your wonderful comments! As promised, a new chapter. I was going to put it up later this weekend and try and get a head start on the next chapter, but like I said earlier, I can't resist you guys!

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_Shawn froze when he saw the muzzle of the gun pointed right at his heart._

"_You don't want to do this," He urged, slowly holding his hands up in what he hoped was a placating gesture._

"_You're wrong. I really do. You ruined my life, Mr. Spencer."_

_The gun went off and Shawn flinched, waiting for the pain to spread through his body. He heard a curse and opened the eyes he had clenched shut, his gaze falling on Juliet as she handcuffed the injured gunman. _

"_I would stop resisting arrest if I were you, because you are seriously ticking me off," She said, glaring at the man. "First, you rob a bank. Then you try and kill my boyfriend? I don't think so."_

_The handcuffs closed with a snap and she pulled the man up, passing him off to one of the officers that had just come up to her._

"_Jules, that was…hot."_

_She gave a smirk as she walked over to him, but it fell from her face as she brushed a finger underneath his bruised eye. He couldn't help but to briefly close his eyes at her touch._

"_You scared me, Shawn. I didn't think we would be able to get here in time, and I thought…thought I might lose you…" Her voice trailed off and she shook her head._

"_You're not going to get rid of me that easily, Jules." She didn't smile at that comment; she was still looking at him, worry creasing her face. He gently wrapped his fingers around her wrist to pull her closer. "I'll always come back to you."_

"_Promise me," She breathed._

"_I promise."_

Shawn opened his eyes slowly, peering across the room and looking for Cole. His heart stuttered with hope when the room appeared empty. He carefully turned his head to look behind him, half expecting to suddenly feel pain as Cole began his next torture session, but…he wasn't there. He furrowed his brow in confusion; since when did Cole leave him alone in the cabin?

Immediately, Shawn began twisting his arms, struggling against the tape and rope that held him captive. When Cole had been in the room, Shawn's efforts at freeing himself had been subtle. He hadn't wanted Cole to catch him. Cole's absence now gave him the freedom to really work hard at freeing himself. "Come on…" He muttered, twisting and pulling and straining his arms. He could feel the skin tearing around his wrists, could feel the vigorous movements pulling at his other wounds, but he didn't care. His mind was focused solely on escaping this hellhole.

He needed to hurry; too much time was passing…He watched in triumph as some of the tape snapped free and the rope slowly got looser and looser. "Please…" Cole could return at any moment, and he wouldn't be happy to see the progress Shawn had made in freeing himself. He jerked his hands frantically as the last of the bonds loosened, and he pulled his hands free. "Thank you…"

He leaned down to reach his legs, adrenaline pumping through his body and muting the pain that should have been slowing his progress. The rope fell to the ground and Shawn stood, swaying unsteadily on his feet. He staggered to the table and grabbed the knife, swallowing when he saw that it was still stained with some of his blood, and hurried to the computer. The screen was black, and he pressed a button, hoping to make it turn on. He swore when a box popped up saying the computer was locked and pushed away from the table, not wasting any time trying to guess the password. He hurried to the door, looking through the window to see if Cole was outside. He squinted against the bright sunlight, his eyes scanning the area outside as he looked for Cole. When he didn't see him, he took a deep breath and gripped the door handle.

Slowly, he opened the door and stepped outside. He staggered forward, his goal to lose himself in the forest that surrounded the cabin. He smiled as he felt the sun's warmth caress his face, as the breeze ruffled his hair. This felt like a dream. Could he really be about to escape? His eyes fell on the dirt road that wound its way through the trees. Knowing it would lead to civilization, he wanted to follow that path; but he also knew it was too obvious. Cole would find him quickly if he went that way. He turned, trying to decide which direction to take as one hand moved to press against one of the cuts that had begun bleeding heavily again.

He could do this. He could slip into the forest and escape. He took a step, and froze. The smile fell from his face and his heart hammered in his chest as he watched Cole walk around the corner of the cabin.

He tilted his head at Shawn. "Do you wonder why I wanted to keep you sedated? Obviously, you are bent on escaping at any chance you get."

Shawn backed away, holding the knife up in front of him, his hands shaking despite his best efforts to appear calm. "Don't…don't come any closer," He rasped.

"Do you think they're happy for you? They must be. They must have cheered when they saw you escape. I bet they are pacing the office, clutching their phones, hoping you will be able to find a way to contact them. I wasn't even planning on doing this; the thought just hit me out of the blue. But think about it! How devastating for them to go from that high of watching you escape and believing you're free, to watching you be dragged back into the cabin. Not to mention the way it will affect you, having your freedom snatched from you once again. I bet that will just…kill them, watching that hope you had to escape fade from your eyes.

I know they won't get to watch this part…but I'll bet they'll still hear some of it." The tire iron that Cole was holding slipped through his fingers until he was only holding the end of it. He smiled and took a step closer to Shawn, who moved back in response.

"Stay…stay back," Shawn warned, half of his mind on Cole, the other half weighing his options. There was no way he could win in a fight against Cole. The tire iron was longer than his knife, and Shawn just didn't have the strength to overpower the larger man. The only other option he had was to run, which he did as soon as Cole took another step forward.

The adrenaline that was pumping through Shawn lent him speed, and he put all of his efforts into running as far and as fast as he could away from Cole. He was so focused on his running that Cole's tackle caught him off guard. The knife flew out of his hand as they both fell to the ground. The pain was immediate, but Shawn wasted no time to start struggling against Cole; he was kicking and hitting as hard as he could to free himself. But with one punch to his temple, Shawn was dazed. He struggled to focus through the haze. He knew he needed to keep moving, so he tried to push himself up from the ground.

The hit to his side surprised him, knocking him sideways and robbing him of his breath. He forced his eyes open in time to see the tire iron swinging for his head, and immediately brought his arms up to block that hit. It landed with a sickening crunch on his wrist instead, and Shawn cried out, his stomach heaving at the nauseating pain.

The tire iron was swinging away from him and he pushed himself up with his good arm, hoping to crawl away. His efforts were futile; the tire iron landed against his side and Shawn felt one of his ribs crack. Giving up on escaping, he curled into a ball, trying to present as small of a target to Cole as he could. The hits fell across his back, his sides, his arms and legs, and he shuddered against the pain. Just when he felt like he wouldn't be able to hold on any longer, when his body was beginning to go limp…Cole stopped.

Shawn blinked heavily, slowly twisting his head until he could squint up at the man, his body trembling as he gasped for breath. Cole stared down at him, a slightly worried expression on his face.

"I hope I didn't do too much damage. You have to last until the fourth day. Did I hit you too hard? Or just hard enough?" He knelt beside Shawn, his hands ghosting across his body. Shawn stiffened at the extra pain as Cole touched broken bone and deep bruises. He clenched his jaw, fighting to control the whimpers that were escaping his mouth.

"I don't know how to hit someone hard enough to just cause a bruise instead of breaking a bone. It looks like I did a little of both this time. I'm not a bad guy, Shawn. Doesn't that knowledge just come automatically to bad guys?" He tilted his head as Shawn started laughing.

Shawn couldn't stop the strange noise that was coming from his mouth. It resembled laughter, but nothing about this situation was funny. That didn't make the laughter, or whatever it was, stop. It kept coming, growing louder and more hysterical, causing him more and more pain as his body shook. Finally, Cole grabbed his broken wrist and squeezed. The laughter turned to shrieking and Cole dropped his arm, nodding in satisfaction. Shawn quickly cradled it against his body, wrapping his other arm around his torso.

"You need to focus, Shawn. Try not to lose your mind go as we go through this, okay? I still want you to answer my questions and you can't do that if you become hysterical."

Cole grabbed Shawn's good arm and began dragging him back…back to the cabin. Shawn struggled only once, just to receive another vicious blow to the ribs for his efforts.

"_You know, I uh…I've heard people say that with gunshot wounds it's really all about the shock, you know? That at some point, the…the wound itself just goes numb. You can't feel anything. Well, it's not true. I can say, without a doubt, that this is the most pain I've been in in my life."_

He could remember waiting for that numbness, and it never came. And now, he had far surpassed the pain of that gunshot. Would he be able to go numb this time? He had a sinking feeling that wasn't going to happen.

Shawn looked up, his gaze riveted on the sky.

It was a beautiful day. The sky was a deep blue and there wasn't a cloud in sight.

Cole dragged him into the cabin, wrestling him into the chair. Shawn could feel him moving his arms and legs, preparing to tie them down again, and he let out a groan as Cole handled his broken wrist. He blinked against his fading vision, still focused on the small piece of sky he could see through the door.

He had almost been free.

How disappointed his father must be with him! Shawn had had the opportunity to escape and hadn't been able to get away. It was yet another failure to add to the list. He closed his eyes against the sudden swell of emotion. He had been so close, and now…he would never leave this cabin again. In two more days, Cole would finish this sick game, and Shawn would be…Well, he would be free then, wouldn't he? Not in the way he would have preferred, but free nonetheless.

He kept his eyes closed, ignoring the words Cole was speaking. He knew things had changed when his secret was revealed, but he had still hoped that his friends would eventually forgive him. His love for Juliet was so strong that he had believed they could move past the hurt someday. He had hoped Gus would come around and that his father would eventually be able to tolerate the sight of his own son again.

None of those things were going to happen. All of the things he had wanted to do, all of the plans that he had for the future…he was never going to get the chance to do them.

_Juliet turned in his arms, pushing him away from the stove until his back ran into the counter behind him. She pulled his head down, returning the sweet kisses he had been giving her. When she pulled away, she wrapped her arms around him and rested her head on his chest, sighing contentedly. They stayed that way for several minutes before she broke the silence._

"_I never want this to end," She said quietly._

_He smiled at the words and pulled her closer. "Neither do I."_

"_I mean…I want to do this in fifty years, Shawn. I want to grow old and gray with you."_

"_I know. Me, too." He waited a moment before adding, "And in fifty years, I'd like to be rocking our grandchildren."_

_She pulled away, looking at him with wide eyes. "Is that…that's your indirect way of saying you want to have kids!" she said in astonishment._

_He swallowed nervously, but still nodded. "I do. I want a little girl that looks just like you."_

"_Except with your eyes. And I want a little boy that looks just like you," She said, giving him an ecstatic smile. _

"_Except with your eyes," Shawn replied, his voice deeper than usual._

And that…that would never happen, either.

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AN: Sorry...


	11. Chapter 11

AN: *peeks out carefully from behind a wall* Hi! I'm sorry; I know you all wanted this sooner, but I needed to surface from the angsty-ness of this story. I actually uploaded a one-shot earlier this week, something much lighter than this (my thanks to those of you who left me comments on that!) It gave me a chance to clear my head and plan out the next few chapters.

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Shawn had always been good with words. In fact, his sarcasm had gotten both Shawn and Gus out of more perilous situations than Gus cared to admit. Gus, too, had always been good with words. Not in the same way as Shawn; but he had always been able to find the words to describe how he was feeling or what was happening in a clear, concise manner. It was one of his many talents.

He had no words now. Nothing. How was he supposed to describe the hope that he had felt as he watched Shawn free himself and flee the cabin?

_Gus paced across the office, waiting for the rest of the group to join him. He saw movement out of the corner of his eye and turned to face the screen. Shawn was awake, looking around the cabin carefully. Gus turned to yell out for the others, but they were already rushing through the doorway, their gazes riveted on the screen._

"_Come on, kid," Henry urged, his eyes narrowing as he studied his son._

"_Come on," Shawn muttered, twisting his arms as he tried to free them. _

_Gus stopped breathing as he watched, his heart in his throat. _

"_Please…"_

_The tape and rope were getting looser! Come on! You can do it, Shawn!_

"_Thank you…" _

_His hands were free! Each person in the office leaned towards the screen as they watched Shawn make quick work of the bonds around his ankles. _

"_Yes!" Gus hissed as Shawn stood and staggered out of the frame. The office was silent, each person waiting to hear what was going to happen next. They heard Shawn swear softly before he passed back into the frame for a quick moment, clutching a knife. Seconds later, they heard a creak and more light spilled across the cabin floor. Go, Shawn! Go, go, go! _

How was he supposed to describe the way that Shawn's muffled scream broke the tense silence of the cabin, shaking each person to the core as they listened?

_They waited silently; not speaking, barely breathing. Henry braced himself against the Chief's desk, staring intently at the screen, his head cocked to the side as he listened. Lassiter had moved from his usual position near the back of the room to stand beside Henry, a similar look of concentration on his face. _

_The sudden yell that came through the speakers was muted, but it easily broke through the silence, startling each of them._

"_Damn it!" Lassiter yelled, spinning away from the desk and running his hand across his face in frustration. _

_Henry's head just fell, his eyes closing and his face furrowing in sorrow. The cell phone Gus had been turning over in his hands slipped through his fingers to fall to the floor. It had been stupid to think that Shawn would be able to call one of them so quickly after his escape, but he hadn't been able to stop himself from hoping. He saw Juliet sink into one of the chairs in front of the desk, one hand covering her mouth, the other moving to grip Gus' hand. He squeezed it gently; the only comfort he could offer her at the moment._

_There was silence again, each minute ticking by like a silent eternity. Gus was really beginning to hate that silence. It was unnatural. Even the sound from the rest of the station was dampened; the noisy bustle of the police station replaced with a somber hush._

_It was wrong._

_Gus flinched as the next tortured scream came through the speakers, his breath hitching as he heard the agony in his friend's voice. Juliet's grip on his hand tightened almost painfully, but he didn't care. He knew he was holding her hand just as tightly. He saw Henry shudder, and he reached out his other hand to rest it on Henry's shoulder._

How was he supposed to describe the way it felt when it dawned on him that Cole had planned Shawn's whole escape, just to take the emotional torture to another level?

_Gus felt his heart stop when Cole finally re-entered the video frame, tugging Shawn's limp body behind him. The tire iron he was also holding was held up in front of the camera, and he smiled before tossing it across the room._

"_Shawn and I have been having a…meeting. So sorry that you all weren't able to be a part of that, but Shawn and I had to get something clear. He thought he could escape and I had to prove him wrong. Oh! Did you think he had escaped, too?"_

How could he explain the fear he had felt when he realized Shawn wasn't even trying to escape from that madman anymore?

_Cole had planned the whole thing. The curses and threats that were ready to spill from Gus' mouth with that realization were stopped in their tracks as Cole bent down to grab Shawn. Shawn, who hadn't moved since he had been dragged into the cabin and whom Gus had assumed to be unconscious. He wasn't. But he also wasn't even trying to escape again._

There was no way to explain any of that. There was no way to describe the weight that sat on his chest and made it difficult to breathe as he saw his friend sitting listlessly, his gaze focused on something Gus couldn't see.

Words weren't the only thing that Gus was good at. There were a few things that Gus considered himself to be an expert of, and Shawn was one of them. It wasn't easy to understand the way Shawn's thought processes worked, but Gus had a special talent for this as well. Gus had been Shawn's best friend for a very long time, and those years of experience made it easier to read Shawn and guess what he was thinking or feeling at any given time.

And this was where Gus found another one of his talents fail him, because he didn't know what Shawn was feeling. He had never before seen the expression that Shawn was wearing now. It wasn't one emotion. It wasn't _just_ fear. It wasn't _just_ pain or _just_ hopelessness. It was this mixture of emotions that Gus couldn't distinguish and that left Shawn's face unreadable.

Gus was truly scared now. Shawn wasn't…he wasn't fighting back. Cole was talking more, but Gus couldn't care less what he was saying. He was focused on his best friend. Shawn suddenly closed his eyes and Gus saw his shoulders tremble as he took a breath. It took a long time, but finally, his face seemed to clear, the complex mix of emotions leaving his face until only a tired, haggard look was left.

"I almost went too far this time, I think. I broke a few bones," Cole said, tapping Shawn's wrist.

Shawn's face grew even paler and his lips pinched together. His eyes snapped open, and Gus felt his breath leave him in shock when he saw the haunted look that flashed in his eyes before he could regain control of his emotions. He turned his head to glare at Cole, but Gus could see how much of an effort it took for Shawn to keep that expression in place.

"Ah, and there's the fight," Cole said, pinching Shawn's bruised cheek. Cole turned to look back at the camera. "He probably won't want me to say this, but he almost lost it before I dragged him back in."

Gus' eyes darted back to Shawn's face to see his glare become even stronger, and he felt his heart drop. Cole was telling the truth then. Shawn needed to stay strong. He couldn't give up! But really, how much more did Gus expect Shawn to be able to go through without breaking?

Cole looked from the camera to Shawn, and back again, his smug smile growing. "It looks like this plan was just as successful as the last session. Shawn, how do you think your friends are reacting right now?"

"Why don't you…you go to the station and...ask them?" Shawn rasped.

"I'm being serious, Shawn." The giddiness that Cole had been showing over Shawn's torment was gone; his voice was once again flat and dangerous.

"So…so was I."

Cole's resulting punch made Shawn's head bounce against the side of the chair before it slumped to his chest. Gus waited for Shawn to move, for him to pop his head back up and say something sarcastic…but nothing happened.

Cole lifted Shawn's chin to study his face. "I should probably stop hitting him in the head. I still want him to answer some questions, and giving him a concussion might not be helpful." He shook his head and faced the camera again. "You should have seen his face. He really thought he had escaped. Even I almost felt bad when I saw how hopeful he was, but it had to be done," Cole shrugged.

He looked around the cabin, his head tilting as he thought. "If you all will excuse me, I need to go re-evaluate my plans. I think he needs something a little less physically demanding for our next session."

Cole walked out of the frame and Gus saw a shaft of sunlight fall across Shawn's still figure as Cole walked out of the cabin. The door closed, and again Gus noticed the silence that filled the office.

Shawn would have hated the silence.

He would have done something to break the tension that was so prevalent in the station. He had always considered that a personal mission of his. He would find some way to turn the officers' frustrations from a difficult case onto himself, which helped them to clear their minds and work on the case with a fresh perspective. Most of them never even realized that he did that; they just assumed he was being an idiot.

Gus looked out to the main room of the police station, studying the officers that were working. He saw the stress that all of the officers were under, saw Buzz's face permanently creased into a mask of frustration. Each person in the Chief's office had quickly realized, when this nightmare started, how important Shawn was to them; not just personally, but professionally. It looked like everyone else was finally beginning to realize the same thing.

Shame it took his kidnapping and torture to make them all see the truth.

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AN: Thank you for your great comments! You guys are wonderful!


	12. Chapter 12

AN: Thank you so much for your wonderful reviews! You guys are so generous!

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"_We're here," Shawn said, sliding off of his bike and holding his hand out to help her stand. _

_She looked around curiously before looking back at Shawn, silently asking him what they were doing. He just smiled, tugging at her hand until she followed him. Silently, he led her along the beach, the full moon lighting their path as it cast a soft glow over the landscape._

"_What are we doing?" She asked._

"_It's a surprise," Shawn answered, squeezing her hand in assurance. "Trust me."_

_A few minutes later, they were standing beside a sand dune, and he stopped. He turned to face her, shifting nervously as he met her eyes. _

"_What's wrong?" _

"_Close your eyes, Jules."_

_She cocked an eyebrow at him, and he chuckled. "Trust me," He repeated._

"_I do," she said simply, and those two little words were enough to make his knees go weak. _

_She closed her eyes, and Shawn walked backwards, leading her around the sand dune. He looked around, casting a critical eye on the scene that met him. He had put up some tiki torches and spread out some blankets along the sand. He had also packed a picnic basket that was filled with some of her favorite foods. The storms he had been worried about had held off for another day, leaving the sky crystal clear and offering them a breathtaking view of the stars. He nodded, satisfied with what he saw._

_He moved to stand beside her, leaning in to kiss her cheek. "Open your eyes," He breathed, waiting for her reaction. He had never gone to this sort of trouble for any of his other girlfriends, and he was nervous. He really wanted her to like this._

_He waited anxiously, his heart pounding loudly in his chest until her eyes opened. She gasped softly and a surprised smile curved her lips as she took in the scene. "Shawn, this is…amazing."_

_He let out a sigh of relief at her soft exclamation, loving the way her eyes lit up as she looked around. "It's okay?" He asked, twisting his lips in uncertainty._

_She turned to face him, placing her hand on his chest and smiling at him. "It's perfect. Thank you."_

_He grabbed the hand she had put on his chest and pulled it to his lips, giving it a quick kiss before pulling her forward to the blanket. _

"_But it's not our anniversary or anything. Why did you do this?" She asked, confused._

_He shrugged. "I know that case you've been working on has been bothering you. I just wanted to offer you a place to escape to tonight."_

_The smile she gave him after that comment was softer, more intimate. "Shawn Spencer, you surprise me. And I…"_

_She trailed off and he waited a moment before asking, "You what?"_

"_I fall a little harder for you every day."_

_Shawn smiled, warmth spreading through him. He had planned this picnic because he wanted to give her something special. Instead, she had turned around and offered him a present of her own, speaking the words he hadn't even realized he wanted to hear._

"_That makes two of us, Detective," He finally managed to say._

Shawn didn't want to wake up. He knew what would happen if he did. Maybe it would have been better if he hadn't blocked that hit to his head; then this whole thing would be over. He wouldn't be facing the reality of two more days in this nightmare; his friends wouldn't be forced to watch Cole's clinical mutilation of him…if they were even watching, of course. He still wasn't sure. He knew that there was a slim chance that they _were _watching, and that knowledge weighed heavily on his mind. He loved each of them, and he would do everything he could to protect them; which meant he had to be careful with his reactions and the way he answered Cole's questions. And right now, he wasn't in any place to cover up his true emotions.

He was so…so tired. And he knew, beyond a doubt, that Cole was going to go too far in one of his sessions. They shouldn't have to see that; he didn't _want_ them to see that. He just couldn't stomach the thought that the people he cared so much for might be watching what he was going through.

Maybe they weren't watching.

He clenched his jaw, tired with the merry-go-round that his thoughts were taking. Either they were watching, or they weren't. That didn't change what he was going to do now.

He opened his eyes slowly, peering carefully around the cabin as he looked for Cole. When he found the cabin empty, he looked straight at the camera, cleared his throat, and started to speak.

"I don't know if you're watching. To be honest…at this point, it doesn't…doesn't matter. I want you to turn off the computer. You need to stop…stop watching. Cole is doing this…to get his revenge, and if you keep…keep watching, then you're letting him win. Don't let that happen. I just want to let you know…that I love you guys…and I'm sorry. I know that I lied and that it was…it was wrong. I never wanted to hurt any of you." He didn't really know what to say next. Should he make his last words to them light, or honestly tell them what he was thinking? That uncertainty combined with the feeling that he was running out of time, and he made the choice to keep it simple. "Dad, Gus…thank you. And Jules…there's something…" His throat closed, and he looked away, taking a moment to clear it and take a breath. "I was going to give you something on our anniversary next month. I won't be able to give it to you now, but I still want you to have it. It's in my bedside drawer. Do…do what you want with it."

His gaze slid to the door of the cabin and then back to the camera. "Cole's going to be…back soon. Turn off the computer. It's time," He nodded in what he hoped was a reassuring manner. "Good…goodbye."

Shawn let his head fall back to rest against the chair. The magnitude of what he had done, that he had just severed the only link he had to the outside world, hit him suddenly. His eyes slid closed as he fought against the heavy weight that had settled on his chest and made it so difficult to breathe.

His hunch that Cole would return soon was correct. The door slammed open and Shawn flinched, scrambling to clear the ragged emotions from his face.

"You're awake," Cole said in surprise. "I didn't expect you to wake so soon."

Cole walked into the cabin and Shawn wearily tracked his movements.

"I was planning the rest of our time together, Shawn. You see, yesterday we had to take it slow because of the sedatives. They only allowed us enough time for two sessions. However, you are past the point of needing them, which gives us a lot more freedom. I do hope you will talk now, but I've come to realize you really are just as stubborn as you said you were." He leaned against the table and narrowed his eyes at Shawn, as if he were still thinking.

He took a deep breath and reached for the black bag he had tormented Shawn with earlier. "So Shawn, it's really your choice." He put his hand in the bag, rummaging around before pulling out the black chord. "Tell me about Juliet, or we jump right back in."

Shawn tore his eyes away from Cole to look down at the floor.

"Tell me. When did you fall for her? What did she say when your secret came out?"

Shawn hesitated. Should he talk? What could it hurt? He'd already asked them to stop watching, so she would never know. But he just…couldn't. Finally, he shook his head.

"Why do you refuse to talk about her?"

"Because…I love her."

"Ah," A triumphant smile curved Cole's lips. "You love her. Does she love you?"

Shawn just kept silent, disappointed that he had given Cole that little bit of satisfaction by answering his question. He didn't want to talk about her. Talking about her here, with Cole, would taint the memory of their relationship. He couldn't let that happen. His memory was the only escape he had left.

Cole nodded slowly as Shawn kept his silence. "I didn't want to use this so soon," He said, twisting the chord between his hands. "I'm worried it might damage your voice and stop you from talking when you finally break; but to be honest, I think we'll be okay."

He circled behind Shawn's chair and Shawn watched as the chord passed in front of his face. He closed his eyes as it rested against his throat, his hand clenching as it slowly began to tighten.

_She was exquisite. The black dress she was wearing was beautiful, her makeup subtle, but stunning. But to him, it didn't matter what she was wearing. It was her eyes that caught him, that grabbed his heart and refused to let go. She was elegant, breathtaking. He literally couldn't breathe as he stared into her eyes and held out the rose. _

The rope was loose again, and Shawn coughed roughly as he sucked in air, the black spots that had covered his eyes slowly disappearing.

All too soon, the rope was getting tighter again.

_Yin walked to Gus, the poison-filled needle moving until it was resting against Gus' arm. Suddenly, Shawn couldn't breathe. His mind was screaming out a denial as he said anything and everything to get Yin to stop. Gus' voice mixed with his until Yin suddenly pulled back, unable to pass on the opportunity to tell them the reason he had played this game with Shawn. And still, Shawn couldn't breathe. The threat was still there. If Yin wanted to, he could kill Gus. Shawn wouldn't be able to stop him. _

"Breathe!" Cole ordered. He slapped him across the chest, and finally, Shawn was able to suck in a huge breath. His chest was heaving and his throat burned. The chord tightened again and all other pain was forgotten as he struggled to free himself, his hands futilely trying to reach for the rope wrapped around his neck.

_Shawn couldn't speak. Garth, or whatever the heck his real name was, had his fingers on Shawn's throat, squeezing. His father was right there! Right there! Dad…He kept moving his mouth, hoping something would come out. Garth tightened his fingers, and Shawn felt his eyelids grow heavy when his air was cut off. Dad…please…He watched his father look down the road, watched as he and Lassiter walked off…He couldn't believe they were just walking away, that they were leaving him there to die._

The chair had been knocked backwards, and Cole was leaning over him, one hand pinching Shawn's nose and the other tilting his chin back. Understanding bloomed, and Shawn felt a tear slip down his face. "Why…why didn't you just…let me die?" He rasped, unable to completely revel in the breath that filled his lungs.

Cole pushed up from the ground, shaking his head. "I already told you, Shawn. Not until…"

There was a beeping noise coming from the computer and Cole spun to face it, his head tilting. He walked to the desk, and Shawn felt his eyes slip closed in fatigue, unable to muster the energy to be curious about the noise.

"No. There's no way," He heard Cole say. He could hear the clicking of computer keys, but it was the sudden slamming noise that startled him enough to make his eyes open. Cole slammed the desk again and began pacing back and forth, muttering to himself. Cole turned mid-pace, grabbing the knife from the table and stalking to Shawn's side. He grabbed the collar of his shirt and lifted him slightly from the floor. "It seems you were right, Shawn. They really _don't_ care. That beeping noise? That told me that no one is watching anymore."

Shawn just blinked at him, the words slowly filtering through the haze that filled his mind.

"Do you understand?" Cole asked as he began cutting off Shawn's shirt. "Your friends navigated away from my web page. They don't care enough about you to watch anymore."

Shawn had asked them to do that and they had actually listened. He was disappointed they hadn't done it when he asked, especially since he had wanted to save them from more pain, but at least they had finally gone through with it. He was glad, very glad, to find out they weren't watching anymore, but it still hurt. It was an irrational feeling, since he had specifically asked them not to, but…he really was alone now.

"Do you know how angry that makes me?" Cole asked as he began cutting Shawn loose from the chair.

Shawn struggled, but Cole lashed out. The backhanded hit to his face made Shawn lose touch with his surroundings. When he finally broke from the haze, Cole was walking away from him and he was lying on his stomach, secured to the workbench that had caught his attention the day before. He was unable to stop the way his body shivered, unable to halt the new fear that was coursing through his body. A part of him realized that he was probably going into shock, that too much had happened in a short amount of time and he had finally reached his limit.

He watched as Cole started to walk back to him, his eyes falling on the whip that dangled loosely in his hands.

"Unfortunately for you, Shawn, this means we'll be finishing soon. Much sooner than I had planned."

…

_She opened the door, and Shawn felt the strength leave his legs. She was crying, had been crying for some time, if her red eyes gave him any indication. More than anything, he wanted to fold her into his arms and comfort her, but he knew his efforts wouldn't be welcomed. She turned around, leaving the door open for him to enter. He took a deep breath and followed her, praying he would be able to find the words to explain, to make this pain go away._

"_I'm sorry, Jules, I-"_

"_You're sorry? Sorry?" Blue eyes glared at him, anger and betrayal making them glitter even more dangerously than if she had been confronting a suspect._

"_You lied to me!" She spat out, hands clenching into fists as she stalked towards him._

"_Jules, I-" The slap wasn't exactly unexpected, but that didn't make it sting any less._

"_I can't believe I fell for it! A psychic! How stupid am I to have trusted you, to have believed you?"_

"_Jules, please. I-"_

"_You never told me! After all this time, how could you not tell me the truth?"_

"_I wanted to! I just didn't want to hurt you! And I was trying to protect you!"_

"_Protect me?"_

"_I was going to tell you, I was just trying to find a way. And until I did, at least you wouldn't know. You wouldn't be charged with anything if my secret came out."_

"_How thoughtful." The words were spiteful, and Shawn flinched at the venom in her voice._

"_Please, Jules-"_

"_Don't call me that." The words were flat, emotionless, and that scared him more than the venom and spite. She was cutting herself off from him._

"_Please…"_

"_Leave, Shawn. Now."_

_He hesitated, not wanting to go. He wanted to make her understand, wanted to save her from this pain. If he left, he would never be able to do that._

"_Now!"_

_He nodded slowly, backing away from her, his eyes glued to her face. His shoulders slumped as she turned her back to him. He left her house quietly, shutting the door on the sobs that were ripping his heart from his chest._

Hands were gripping his shoulders and flipping him onto his back. Cole was saying something, but Shawn didn't understand him.

He was finally numb.

His eyes opened slowly as Cole started slapping his cheek, the words he had been speaking finally coming into focus.

"We've come to the end of our time together." Cole twirled the knife between his hands, staring down at him. He tilted his head, eyes narrowing in thought as he moved to trace the scar from Shawn's gunshot wound. He tore his eyes away from that spot to meet Shawn's gaze. "Goodbye, Shawn."

And Shawn felt the knife plunge into his chest.


	13. Chapter 13

AN: Thank you so much for your awesome, awesome reviews! I'll have you know I sacrificed time I should have spent studying for a test just to get you guys a chapter before Saturday. :) Once again, there are some direct quotes from the show. They're not mine!

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"If you all will excuse me, I need to go re-evaluate my plans. I think he needs something a little less physically demanding for our next session."

Juliet took a deep breath, her hands gripping the arms of the chair so hard her knuckles turned white. She had thought he was free, had seen Shawn walk out of the cabin of his own free will and had believed he was finally safe. But it had been nothing but a ploy, a trick designed to further break Shawn and those that cared about him.

Slowly, she turned her head, studying each of the people in the room with her. The Chief was sitting at her desk, staring off into the distance, and Lassiter was pacing angrily. Gus was looking out into the station and she could tell by his expression that he was in shock. Henry was still leaning against the desk, his head lowered as he fought to come to terms with Shawn's near escape.

Juliet turned back to the screen, her eyes looking at the still figure in the chair. Slowly, lovingly, her eyes swept across his face, studying him.

_Juliet stormed into the office. It was 3:00 in the morning, but he would be here. The words she wanted to yell at Shawn were on the tip of her tongue, and she took a deep breath, her mouth opening as she caught sight of him. But then she stopped, her head tilting as she studied him. He was sitting at his desk, head resting on his arms and eyes closed in slumber. She could feel a reluctant smile forming on her lips as she watched him. _

_He was peaceful. The childish mask he wore was gone, and in its place was Shawn. Just Shawn. Her Shawn. He was much more complex than most people realized and she loved getting to see the different facets of his personality. She loved each of them. Even if his childish actions got on her nerves at times, she still loved it, because it was a part of who he was. Just like she loved him when he showed his uncertainty and vulnerability when he did something special for her or told her he loved her. Just like she loved him when he was just himself, when it was only the two of them and he didn't put on any airs. _

_She had never seen him sleep before, and she let her gaze linger on his face, melting a little when the corner of his mouth turned up in a small smile and he sighed. _

_She had told him to wait in the car, and he hadn't. He had gotten in the middle of a dangerous standoff, and she had been worried and scared for him. That was why she came to the office tonight, to give him a piece of her mind. Instead, she pulled up a chair and sat down, prepared to watch over him for awhile. She would yell at him later, when his voice husky from sleep wouldn't distract her and make her forget what she wanted to say._

Ignoring the fact that there were other people in the room, Juliet leaned forward in her chair, one hand reaching for the screen. She traced the features of Shawn's face with one finger, imagining it was him she was feeling and not the cold, impersonal surface she was really touching.

"I love you," She whispered.

She pulled her hand away and sat back in her chair, still watching him. She could tell when he woke up. There was a change in his breathing and his body grew tense. It wasn't long until he opened his eyes and carefully looked around the cabin. She watched, curious, as he cleared his throat and looked straight into the camera. There was a…determination to his expression that she hadn't been expecting.

"I don't know if you're watching. To be honest…at this point, it doesn't…doesn't matter." Her heart stopped. The words had a sense of finality to them that scared her. What was he doing? "I want you to turn off the computer. You need to stop…stop watching. Cole is doing this…to get his revenge, and if you keep…keep watching, then you're letting him win. Don't let that happen." There was a stunned silence that was only broken when Shawn continued to speak.

"I just want to let you know…that I love you guys…and I'm sorry. I know that I lied and that it was…it was wrong. I never wanted to hurt any of you." Juliet choked as realization dawned. He was saying goodbye. "Dad, Gus…thank you. And Jules…" Her nickname fell from his lips, caressing her ears. "There's something…" He cut off and looked away, taking a breath before looking back at the camera and continuing. "I was going to give you something on our anniversary next month. I won't be able to give it to you now, but I still want you to have it. It's in my bedside drawer. Do…do what you want with it."

She didn't want whatever it was. She only wanted Shawn. His gaze slid away from the camera and back again. "Cole's going to be…back soon. Turn off the computer. It's time," He nodded. "Good…goodbye."

There was a moment of silence that was broken when Henry spoke. "The _hell_ we're going to turn it off," he growled. No one disagreed with him.

What he was asking them to do was selfless and brave and heartbreaking. She didn't know where he managed to find the courage to ask them that; but they couldn't do it. There was no way they were going to turn their backs on him again. Her heart clenched as she watched all of the emotions that crossed Shawn's unguarded face.

The cabin door opened and she jumped.

"You're awake," Cole said in surprise. "I didn't expect you to wake so soon."

He passed in front of the camera as he continued to speak. "I was planning the rest of our time together, Shawn. You see, yesterday we had to take it slow because of the sedatives. They only allowed us enough time for two sessions. However, you are past the point of needing them, which gives us a lot more freedom. I do hope you will talk now, but I've come to realize you really are just as stubborn as you said you were."

She couldn't see what Cole was doing now, but she could feel her skin starting to crawl.

"So Shawn, it's really your choice. Tell me about Juliet, or we jump right back in."

She glared at the screen. This man was using _her _to hurt Shawn.

"Tell me. When did you fall for her? What did she say when your secret came out?"

She saw him take a breath, could almost see his hesitation. _It's okay, Shawn. If you need to…if you think it's better…then talk._

Finally, he shook his head.

"Why do you refuse to talk about her?"

"Because…I love her."

"Ah. You love her. Does she love you?" It was impossible to miss the satisfaction in Cole's voice.

_Yes! Yes, I love him! _It didn't escape her that Shawn didn't answer his question. She wasn't sure if it was because he really thought she didn't love him, or if it was because he didn't want to give in to Cole.

"I didn't want to use this so soon. I'm worried it might damage your voice and stop you from talking when you finally break; but to be honest, I think we'll be okay."

Juliet stopped breathing as Cole walked behind Shawn, the black rope he had stretched between his hands resting against Shawn's neck. She pushed up from the chair, her hands covering her mouth as the rope tightened.

Once.

Twice.

Three times.

"Shawn?" Cole jostled Shawn's shoulder, which just made his head swing loosely.

"No," Juliet moaned, her legs giving out. She barely noticed Lassiter catch her, her attention was so focused on Shawn. He wasn't breathing. _He wasn't breathing!_

Cole swore and knocked the chair over, pinching Shawn's nose and tilting his head up.

"_You have me now. I know I may not appear that physically imposing at first blush, but it turns out I have the tenacity of a Swiss Fox, and the instincts of a dragonfly."_

"_You realize one of those is a rabbit, and the other is an insect?" She asked, amused despite the melancholic mood she was in._

"_That's why I chose them." He took her hand, his eyes lingering on the bandage there. "But I'm trying to tell you that I would protect you."_

_She knew he would. "And I will protect you right back."_

She hadn't been able to protect him from this. He had done everything he could to protect _her_, but she hadn't been able to do _anything _for him.

"No…" She moaned again, grasping Lassiter's arms desperately. Henry collapsed into a chair, a shaking hand covering his mouth, while a shocked sob came from Gus.

A shuddering gasp came from the screen, and they each froze. Cole shifted back and she saw that Shawn's eyes were open, his chest heaving.

"Why…why didn't you just…let me die?"

"Oh, kid. No. No," Henry choked.

Juliet didn't say anything. Her entire being was focused on the lone tear she could see falling from his eyes. _Shawn…_

"I already told you, Shawn. Not until…"

They barely heard the beeping over the yell that burst out over the station. "Yes! Take that you psycho!"

They spun away from the screen, their gazes falling on Charlie Parker as he came running towards them, a grimly satisfied smile on his face. "I broke the code! I've got their location!" He burst into the office, waving a piece of paper in the air. Juliet pushed away from Lassiter, the hope that began to bloom at Charlie's exclamation giving her the strength to stand on her own. The Chief grabbed the paper, immediately barking out orders as she rushed from the room. The group in the office was hurrying to follow her when Cole's voice broke through.

"It seems you were right, Shawn." They paused, turning to look back at the screen as the Chief continued to prepare the rest of the officers.

"They really _don't_ care. That beeping noise? That told me that no one is watching anymore. Do you understand?" Cole asked as he began cutting off Shawn's shirt. "Your friends navigated away from my web page. They don't care enough about you to watch anymore."

"He's lying," Parker said, his earnest gaze meeting Juliet's. "That was an alarm he set up to warn him if anyone broke the code."

"So he knows we're coming?" Lassiter asked, shifting anxiously.

"Beyond a doubt," Parker answered as he turned back to the screen.

"Let's move, people! Move, move, move!" The Chief said.

_Hang on, Shawn. Please…please hang on,_ Juliet pleaded silently as they ran from the station.


	14. Chapter 14

AN: So, I resolved the last cliffhanger! You will now know what happens next. :) Thank you all for the awesome reviews. Each and every one of them makes my day!

* * *

Henry had excellent instincts that had been honed from his many years on the police force. They were rarely wrong. Right now, they were screaming at him, warning him that they were going to be too late.

_He had been within feet of his son, and he hadn't even known it. He had talked to one of the men holding his son hostage, and he hadn't even known it. Yes, he had thought there was something strange about the man, but he had ignored the twisting in his gut and walked away. He had left his son to die…and his son had not only been watching him the whole time, he had been trying to call out to him for help._

_Henry dropped his head in shame. He could have ended the whole thing right there, if he had just followed his instincts. Instead, he had left his son in the hands of two criminals, one of them more than willing to kill his son, and Shawn had been forced to take his life into his own hands by trying to make a phone call to O'Hara._

He gripped the handle of the door as they squealed around another corner, shaking his head in denial. His instincts were wrong this time. They had to be. He couldn't be too late! They hadn't gone through all of this, hadn't been forced to watch his son suffer for two days, only for the encryption to break and for Shawn to die as they were racing to his rescue. It just couldn't happen that way.

…

Cole twisted the knife as he pulled it out, eliciting an exhausted moan from Shawn. Cole stepped away, moving to the table to grab his black bag. Shawn saw him pause at the door and look around the cabin, his gaze only skimming across Shawn as he gave the room one last glance. He wasn't surprised. He had only ever been a means to an end, an object with which Cole could exact revenge. Cole nodded to himself and walked out the cabin door.

He was getting away, but Shawn couldn't bring himself to worry about that.

He didn't think it was going to be much longer. He was too far gone to even care about the pain. And if that was true, that he didn't have much time left, then he didn't want to spend his last moments looking at this prison. His eyes fluttered closed and he let his memory take over.

"_Daddy, look at those stars!"_

_His father looked down at him, a smile crossing his face. "I see 'em, kid. You know, some of them form shapes."_

"_Like a reckangle?"_

_He could feel his father trying not to laugh. "Yeah kid, some of them do form rectangles. But think bigger. Look." He scooped Shawn up in one arm and pointed out a group of stars with his other hand, tracing the shape with his finger. "See? That one looks like a person. It's called Orion."_

"_Oh, that's Rion," Shawn said, his eyes locked on the stars in fascination._

_This time, Henry did laugh. He pointed out more constellations, and Shawn felt his eyes slip closed in exhaustion. He was safe and comfortable in his father's arms, listening to his voice. The last thing he heard before he slipped into slumber was his father saying, "Sleep, son. I've got you."_

Another memory surfaced.

_Gus led the way into Shawn's apartment, carrying a large box. _

"_Seriously? I just got shot. You're going to raid my closet now?" Shawn readjusted his sling, smirking at the look Gus sent him._

"_They're my clothes, Shawn!" He began pulling shirts from the rack, tsking as he came across shirt after shirt that belonged to him. _

"_But I just got shot!" Shawn whined, his pout turning into a smile when Gus turned away from him again._

"_So? These are mine. I can't believe you took this one! It was $125!"_

_Shawn sighed. "Dude! We've been over this before! You can't quote list price! You got it on clearance!"_

_Gus glared at him. "It's the principle of the thing, Shawn."_

"_Principle?" The bickering continued, a huge smile growing on Shawn's face. For a split second-okay, for more than a split second-when he was in that gas station and in the back of that truck, he thought he would never get a chance to do this back and forth banter with his friend again. _

_Gus sent back another comment, and Shawn laughed. For the first time since he was released from the hospital, he felt like things were finally starting to return to normal._

He could feel himself beginning to smile.

_Shawn walked back into the diner, pausing as he stared at the woman sitting in his seat. She was beautiful. He walked towards her and sat beside her, saying something stupid, something about how she had taken his seat and he had a crawly snake to prove it. He kept talking, trying to engage her in conversation. He could see her lips twitch in humor at one of his comments, but she still didn't bite. She was focused on something else. _

_She was a cop. Of course she was. And he found her fascinating. He was going to have to find a way to worm himself onto another case. This opportunity was just too intriguing to pass up._

And the first time, when he had gotten so close…

_Shawn couldn't help himself, he leaned in closer._

"_Shawn, what are you doing?"_

"_Nothing."_

"_Really? 'Cause if you're doing what it looks like you're doing, it's going to be one of those things we just talked about."_

"_What's that?" He could barely focus. He could feel her lips brush against his, could feel her breath fan across his face. _

"_A mistake."_

"_I agree, but that's clearly not what we're doing."_

"_Okay, really? What do you call what we're doing?"_

"_I call it…very close talking."_

One memory was blending with the next now; memories of him and his father, of Gus, and of Juliet. He could feel his chest hitch as he tried to breathe, could feel himself starting to tremble from the coldness that was spreading across his body.

He didn't want to fight anymore. What was the point? Not only was no one watching, but Cole himself had said the signal was untraceable. He was truly alone. There was no reason to fight, not that he had the strength left to do so.

He brought forth one last memory, smiling as he lost himself in it.

_He looked down at her, a soft smile crossing his face. She was so beautiful. And she was his. He leaned down to kiss her nose, holding back a laugh as she crinkled it at the light touch. She sighed, and turned her face into his chest, burrowing deeper into his arms. The movie had ended a half-hour ago, but Shawn didn't have the heart to wake her up, nor did he want to leave just yet._

_He wanted to stay and watch her. He leaned down again, brushing his lips across her forehead. _

"_Shawn…" _

_He pulled back, afraid he had woken her; but no, her eyes were still closed. _

"_I love you, Shawn…" She sighed in her sleep. _

"I love you, Jules," He whispered to the empty cabin.

And with one last stuttering breath, his chest grew still.

…

It took them an hour to drive to the cabin. A tense, anxious hour filled with clipped orders from each of the passengers for Lassiter to drive faster. Fifteen minutes away from the cabin, they had received news that Cole had supposedly left, after inflicting one last injury to Shawn that he had meant to be fatal.

Juliet gripped the door handle, her stomach twisting as she first caught sight of the cabin. Lassiter hit the brakes and they jumped from the car, pulling their weapons from their holsters in case Cole had returned. They rushed to the cabin, slamming the door open.

The sight that met her made her gag. Never before had the sight of blood been so difficult for her to handle, but this was Shawn's blood that flowed freely over the table and left a puddle on the floor. Her eyes moved to his chest. "No!" She yelled breathlessly as she darted forward, leaning over his face and tilting his head up. "He's not breathing!" She yelled in panic.

"But he's got a pulse," Lassiter said, pulling his hand away from Shawn's neck and pushing her out of the way as he started the rescue breaths she was too breathless to perform.

Henry was next to her, his hands pushing into Shawn's chest as he tried to stop the blood still oozing from the knife wound. His gaze met hers, a silent communication of horror passing between the two of them.

"Here! In here!" Gus yelled as he led the paramedics into the cabin. Juliet forced her gaze away from Henry's to land on Shawn's wrists. She sucked in a breath, working quickly and carefully to free his wrists from the chains. She couldn't look away from his hands. They were still and limp, remaining above his head even as the chains fell free.

The paramedics pushed them away from Shawn, barking out information and asking questions that they all tried to answer. They moved him to the stretcher, still trying to get him to breathe as they rushed from the cabin. Gus had finally succumbed to the urge and was off to the side, emptying his stomach. Henry followed the stretcher, a quick "Not enough room" being tossed at him before the door closed on him. Juliet felt Lassiter grip her arm as the ambulance began pulling away.

"He still wasn't breathing," She whispered.

He didn't say anything at that comment; he just led her to the car quickly.

"Chief!" He shouted as he opened the door for Juliet.

"Go!" She ordered, before turning back to the search party she was directing.

Lassiter nodded, shouting for Henry and Gus to join them as he hurried to his seat.

…

Henry looked down at his hands in shock. They were red. Blood red. His son's blood. His son wasn't breathing. Lassiter had breathed for him. For his son. Who was bleeding. That was blood on his hands. His son's blood.

Arms were reaching over the seat, small hands grasping his, a napkin dabbing up the red liquid staining him. He forced his eyes up to look at Juliet. Shocked tears fell down her face and her lip quivered. She stared fixedly at his hands, but he could still see the disconnect in her expression. She was there, yet she wasn't. Just like him.

He had comforted her this morning, and now she was comforting him.

He looked back down at his hands, watching as she continued to wipe them until they were as clean as possible. Instead of turning back around in her seat when she was finished with her task, she stayed how she was and gripped Henry's hands tightly in her own. He squeezed back, needing the comfort as much as she did.

He dragged his eyes away from their clasped hands to see Gus looking out the window, blinking his eyes slowly. He let go of one of Juliet's hands to reach for Gus, who turned to look at him. His mouth was moving, but he was unable to give voice to the words he wanted to say. Finally, Gus closed his mouth, his other hand reaching for Juliet's free one.

"_He's not breathing!" Juliet yelled and Henry stumbled forward. _

_No. Dear God, please._

"_But he has a pulse!" Lassiter leaned over Shawn, pinching his nose. _

_Henry acted on autopilot after that, putting his hands on Shawn's shoulder to try and staunch the steady flow of blood. There was so much of it. Not just from the stab wound. From something else he couldn't see yet. _

_His eyes met Juliet's, her words echoing in his mind._

"_He's not breathing…He's not breathing."_

He still wasn't breathing.


	15. Chapter 15

AN: Thank you all so very much for your wonderful comments! They mean a lot to me!

* * *

They had sat in the waiting room for...actually, Gus didn't know how long they had waited. The few minutes they had spent at the cabin had seemed to only take seconds; but when they got to the hospital, time had slowed. Every second had felt like an hour. When the doctor had come out to speak with them, Gus had been so focused on the doctor's news that Shawn was alive and breathing on his own, that other words, like severe trauma, broken bones, and lacerations, just washed over him.

Gus stood from the chair, pacing slowly at the foot of Shawn's hospital bed. Shawn was lying on his stomach, pillows piled under his body to take the weight off of the stab wound and the gashes that crossed his torso. And he was lying on his stomach because his back…because while Gus and the others had been racing to his rescue, Cole had…Shawn's back was…

Gus swallowed, forcing back the nausea that surfaced as he turned to look at the bandages that covered Shawn's back. _I am so sorry, Shawn. We got there as soon as we could._ He sighed and returned to his chair, too tired to continue pacing.

Gus rubbed his face, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees. His gaze fell on his two best friends as he blew out a quiet sigh. Juliet had fallen asleep a few hours after they had entered Shawn's room, her fingers twisting gently around Shawn's hand, her head resting near his.

She felt guilty. They all did.

Henry had stood by Shawn's bed for a long time, running his fingers gently through Shawn's hair. He, too, was sleeping now, his hand resting on top of Shawn's leg. Gus had been afraid to touch Shawn. He had been worried he would inadvertently cause his friend more pain with just the slightest touch.

And now, they had to wait some more; wait for Shawn to move or to wake up. He had been unconscious since he had arrived at the hospital. The doctor reassured them it was normal, that Shawn had gone through a lot of physical and mental trauma for the last two days and that he was exhausted. He might not wake for the next few hours or another few days.

Gus' head drooped. He was ready for this to be over. It needed to be. Shawn needed to wake up and be healed, and Cole needed to be found. He gripped the back of his neck in anger. Cole had escaped. When Shawn woke up, they couldn't even offer him Cole's arrest as consolation. They had to worry about when that…psycho would return. When, not if. Gus didn't need to be told that Cole would not be happy that he had failed to wreak his ultimate revenge against the SBPD when he learned that Shawn had survived.

One part of the nightmare was over, only to leave them nervously waiting for the next installment.

…

Morning had dawned, and still Shawn hadn't woken up. He hadn't made a noise, he hadn't even shifted. Juliet leaned closer, one hand reaching out to brush Shawn's hair away from his forehead. She frowned at the heat radiating from his body, and looked up at Henry in concern.

"What?"

"I think he has a fever," She replied.

Henry leaned closer to Shawn, his hand resting against Shawn's cheek. He sighed heavily, reaching for the call button. Juliet felt Shawn's fingers tighten convulsively around her fingers, a moan coming from his unconscious form. The doctor came into the room just as Shawn's eyes flashed open for a quick moment. His eyes were unfocused, and slid across the people in the room without the slightest hint of recognition before he groaned again, his eyes sliding shut and his fingers growing limp.

She watched for the rest of the afternoon, helpless, as he started thrashing on the bed, alternately shivering and sweating as he fought against an infection. She listened, sick, as Shawn muttered nonsense or plead with some unseen foe to "Stop…please stop." She had no doubt he was reliving his time in that cabin. She watched as the doctors made the decision to put straps around his wrists and ankles, afraid the frenzied movements he made while he was lost in the grips of his fever would undo the careful work they had done to save him. She listened, heartbroken, as a delirious Shawn let out a strange keening sound when he next tried to move and the straps held him still.

It was evening when his eyes, bright with fever, opened slowly and focused on her. She had been brushing her fingers across his face, trying to offer him what little comfort that she could; but when she saw him looking at her, she stopped. She watched as his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"Am I…I dead?" He asked, his voice so hoarse she almost couldn't understand him.

"No! No, you're going to be fine," She said, resting her hand on the back of his neck.

"Are…you sure? Because you…look like heaven…to me…" He trailed off, his eyes fluttering closed again.

Juliet swallowed, blinking heavily against the tears that surfaced at his words. Carefully, she continued where she had left off, letting her fingers brush across his face. Tenderly, she touched his cheeks and slid her fingers down his nose, lightly sweeping across the bruises on his face.

…

When Karen walked in later that evening, she stood beside Shawn's bed and let her hand rest against his forehead. "No change?" Worry led her to ask the question, even though it was redundant. She could feel all too well how fevered he still was.

"No," Henry said, shaking his head. "What about the search?"

They had been in constant communication since rescuing Shawn, and Henry had asked her the same question each time. And each time, she hated that she could not give them the news they wanted to hear, needed to hear. She shook her head. "No. I'm sorry; we haven't found Cole yet."

Henry crossed his arms, sighing as he leaned back in his chair.

"O'Hara?"

"Chief?" The young woman met her gaze.

"I think it would be best if you went home tonight." She held a hand up to stop Juliet's immediate protest. "Listen to me. You need to get a good night's sleep, because tomorrow I need you to join Carlton and myself in a meeting with the DA."

Comprehension dawned on each of the three faces tilted towards her.

"I need you there to help present a defense. Hopefully…hopefully we can work this out and make sure no one goes to jail. And honestly," She turned to look at Henry and Gus, "I don't think you two have to worry. It's Shawn that the DA wants."

"I don't care what happens to me; I'm more worried about my son," Henry said.

Karen wasn't surprised to see Guster nod in agreement.

"We'll do everything we can," Karen assured them, before turning back to O'Hara. "Carlton is on his way to pick you up."

She leaned over the bed one more time, letting her hand linger on Shawn's forehead before she turned to leave the room.

…

Juliet hesitated on the door step, Shawn's empty apartment stretching out in front of her. Lassiter had asked if she wanted him to come with her. It had been awkwardly asked and he had cleared his throat several times before getting the courage to say the words, but he had finally gotten the whole question out. She had declined the offer, but she forced a smile at him and let her hand rest on his shoulder for a brief moment to convey her gratitude.

She needed to do this on her own.

She took a deep breath and walked into the apartment, flipping on lights as she moved slowly through his home. She made her way through the living room, stepping around the coffee table.

"_Your turn, Jules."_

"_It's a puzzle, Shawn. We don't take turns."_

_He blinked innocently at her, his hazel eyes sparkling with humor. "We don't? Then how do we know who wins?"_

Her gaze fell on the slivers of glass at the base of one of the walls, and she sucked in a deep breath, her heart clenching. Her mind was all too willing and able to provide her with an image of Shawn, standing alone in the middle of his home. It was all too easy to imagine him throwing his glass against the wall in frustration and anger, his head drooping as he shoved his fingers through his hair. She swallowed, moving out of the living room and into the hallway.

His bedroom door was partially closed, and she rested her hand against the doorknob. She took another deep breath, and slowly pushed open the door. His tousled bed screamed of sleepless nights; the clothes strewn around the room not from his usual messiness, but from his preoccupation with the scandal that had formed around him. Her eyes fell on the bedside table, and she walked towards it.

"_And Jules…there's something…"_

Her hand stretched out to pull open the drawer. She knew what would be waiting for her before she even saw it.

"_I was going to give you something on our anniversary next month. I won't be able to give it to you now, but I still want you to have it." _

She reached trembling fingers out to touch the small jewelry box sitting in the drawer, sinking to her knees when her legs wouldn't support her anymore.

"_Do…do what you want with it."_

She picked up the box and held her breath as she opened it. She gave a soft gasp, letting her finger bush against the elegant ring nestled inside. It was perfect.

What should she do? Should she put it back in the drawer? Or should she wear it? She had done so many things wrong these last couple of weeks that she wanted to finally get something right.

If she wore it now, then it would be a wordless show of support and love for Shawn when he woke up. And if she did wear it, would Shawn be happy? Would he realize she was wearing it because she still loved him? On the other hand...she didn't want to be the one to put this ring on her finger. She wanted _Shawn_ to be the only one to do that. Not only that, but he had only told her about the ring because he believed he would never be able to give it to her. He was safe now. If he wanted to, he _could_ give it to her.

"O'Hara?"

She jumped at the worried voice, looking over her shoulder as Lassiter came to a stop outside the bedroom door.

"Are you okay?"

She nodded. "I'm almost done," She said softly, as she turned to look back at the ring. She needed to make a decision. Leave it in the drawer? Or wear it?

What was the right choice?


	16. Chapter 16

AN: This chapter is dedicated to each of you who read and left me a review. This story truly would not have been the wonderful monster that it is without your support. I am so grateful. Thank you!

* * *

Henry wasn't sure what was worse. No, that was a lie. Watching his son being tortured; that was the worst. But watching his son struggle with his fever, listening to him moaning in pain despite the pain meds that were coursing through his body, listening to him ramble in his fever-induced hallucinations, watching him writhe on the bed and fighting against the restraints…that wasn't easy, either.

This was the start of his second day in the hospital, and Henry couldn't stop thinking that his son was supposed to be killed on this day. He couldn't stop thinking that Cole had stabbed Shawn with the intention to kill him. He had been so close to losing him. If they had arrived even a minute later…he'd be planning his son's funeral.

He leaned over to put his hand against Shawn's forehead. The fever had broken early this morning, and for the last several hours, Shawn had been sleeping peacefully. He pulled back, startled, when Shawn suddenly shifted under his hand, burrowing his head into the pillow.

"Shawn?" He reached out again to touch Shawn's face.

Shawn flinched violently away from his touch. "Please…please don't hurt me. I thought you were done. Please…" He begged.

Henry's heart clenched at the words. "Son. Open your eyes. Come on, kid," He urged.

The terror fled from his son's face, to be replaced with confusion. "D…Dad?"

"Yeah, kid. It's me. Open your eyes," He said softly.

Slowly, Shawn opened his eyes, looking at his father. Henry smiled at him, reaching down to gently clasp his hand. Shawn followed the movement, his face contorting in confusion as he looked back up at Henry.

"What…happened?" Shawn asked, his hand clasping Henry's tightly before he slowly let go and pulled away.

Henry's eyes narrowed at his son's unexpected withdrawal. "What do you remember?"

"Cole…Cole stabbed me. I thought…thought I was dead."

Henry nodded at the words. "You almost did die. You weren't breathing when we found you." Henry rubbed his hand over his face, wiping away the fear that came with that memory. "But you're going to be okay. You'll be in the hospital for awhile, but you'll be okay."

Shawn broke away from his father's gaze to look around the hospital room, and Henry could see his disappointment. A sad smile tilted the corners of his mouth. "No one else…wanted to get stuck with…with guard duty? Why are _you_ even here?"

Henry took a deep breath, his son's withdrawal finally making sense. How could he have expected Shawn to realize that everything had changed since he had been taken from them?

"Because you are my son. And I'm going to stay here, for as long as you need me. The others will be here soon. They're worried about you, too."

He saw Shawn's eyes grow unfocused, saw his blinks get slower and longer. He reached out to run his fingers through Shawn's hair when Shawn spoke.

"Worried? I don't…don't understand. Why…would you…care?" He whispered before sleep claimed him once again.

Henry closed his eyes, shaking his head at Shawn's words.

"Mr. Spencer? Is everything okay?" Gus asked as he hurried to Henry's side, carelessly tossing the coffee he had just purchased into the trash.

"Yeah…yeah, everything's fine. He just woke up for a minute."

Gus studied Shawn for a long moment before turning to look at Henry. "Was he okay?"

Henry shook his head slowly. "No. No, he wasn't. But he will be." He reached out to brush a rough finger against Shawn's cheek. "He will be."

…

"Are you two ready?" Karen asked her detectives, her attention torn between them and the DA waiting for them. They nodded, and she led the way into her office, urging them to sit around the table.

"I'm not late, am I?"

She looked up in surprise to see Adam Hornstock standing in the doorway, a confident smile on his face. She sent a quick look at her detectives, who both looked surprised at the lawyer's arrival. She narrowed her eyes at her senior detective, who looked just a little _too_ surprised. He smiled faintly at her, one shoulder lifting slightly in a shrug.

The DA sighed, his agitation obvious. "Hornstock, what are you doing here?"

"I'm representing my client. What are you doing here, White? Trying to put an innocent man in prison?" He replied as he moved into the office, putting his briefcase on the floor as he sat in the chair opposite the DA.

"An innocent man? You _are_ here for Shawn Spencer, right? The same man who lied to the police for years about being a supposed psychic?"

"You mean the man who spent the last several years helping to put criminals behind bars?"

"So he's fooled you, too? That's a shame. You've been doing so well with your practice the last several years; are you sure you want to get involved with this case?"

The smile fell from Adam's face as he narrowed his eyes at the man. "Why don't we just get down to business? First, no charges will be brought against Henry Spencer or Burton Guster."

White pursed his lips, but nodded in agreement. "Fine."

Adam flashed a smile. "Good. I always knew you _could_ be a reasonable man." He moved on quickly before White could comment. "Now, what exactly are you charging my client with?"

"Do you have to ask? Mr. Spencer is a con-man. He misrepresented himself by claiming to be psychic, lying continuously to the police!"

"Mr. Spencer solved hundreds of cases, putting hundreds of dangerous criminals behind bars. And not only," He said, cutting off the DA as he tried to speak, "Not only was his own well-being threatened on several cases, but he also put his life on the line for many members of the police force-Buzz McNab, Carlton Lassiter. In fact, Detective, how many times did Mr. Spencer provide a necessary distraction to save lives?"

Lassiter opened his mouth to speak when White scoffed.

Adam tilted his head, lifting an eyebrow in question. "Oh, I'm sorry. You're not impressed by Mr. Spencer's selfless actions?"

"You're getting off topic, Hornstock," The DA growled. "The man lied continuously, to the police, for several years! He knowingly represented himself as a psychic to _law officers_! Including Detective Lassiter!"

"A misdemeanor," Adam said, waving his hand as if to brush off the other man's words.

"And one misdemeanor is punishable by a fine or by six months in jail. How many times did he represent himself as a psychic?" White shot back. "The number of times he perpetrated his lie doesn't make it a simple misdemeanor anymore."

Adam leaned against the table, his intelligent eyes locked on White. "What are you _really_ angry about? That Mr. Spencer told a harmless lie when he said he was psychic, in order to help the people and police of Santa Barbara? That lawyers are trying to find a way to overturn a court ruling on criminal cases because of Mr. Spencer's involvement? Even though you and I both know that can't happen because the SBPD has solid evidence and confessions for each of those cases," He said, shaking his head. He narrowed his eyes, a slight smirk crossing his face. "Or are you angry because he called you Mr. Grumpy Monkey Pants in court last month while accusing you of being on the take in the Hernandez case?"

White stiffened. "That has nothing to do with this! Mr. Spencer lied!"

"Yes. Continuously. To the police. For several years. I think we've all got the idea. The truth of the matter is, Mr. Spencer was a valuable resource to the police and the community of Santa Barbara. And you want to send him to jail, when it's just not safe for him there."

The DA pinched the bridge of his nose and shook his head.

"I have a compromise," Adam offered.

"What is it?" White asked, the words barely legible through his clenched teeth.

"Six months community service, working cases with the SBPD."

"You've got to be kidding!" White burst out, his incredulous gaze encompassing each person in the room. "Community service doing the very thing he got in trouble for?"

Adam shook his head. "Six months of solving crimes, legally, as a private detective."

He looked over at Karen, who leaned forward in her seat, quickly catching on to what Adam wanted from her. "Think about it, Mr. White. Mr. Spencer _was_ a valuable asset to this department before, and with this deal, he can _continue_ to be one."

The DA pursed his lips, crossing his arms as he stared down at the table. It took him several minutes to reply. "Fine," He bit off angrily, looking back up at Adam with a glare.

"Excellent," Adam grinned.

Karen looked over to see Juliet smile brightly and to see Lassiter holding back a triumphant grin of his own. She smiled back at them. "You two are dismissed. Keep me informed, please."

"Yes, Chief," They responded simultaneously. They hurried from the room, Juliet already pulling out her phone to give Henry and Gus the good news.

"Let's work out the rest of the details, shall we, gentlemen?" She asked, giving Adam a grateful smile.

…

The first time he had woken, he had been confused. He had felt comfortable for the first time in a long time, and his mind had conveniently forgotten about what had happened in the cabin. Then he had heard a voice, calling his name. The pain that he hadn't noticed before came back; muted, but still insistent, while his mind had flooded with memories. He had started to panic, and he hadn't been able to distinguish his father's voice from the voice of his tormentor. He couldn't stop himself from begging to be left alone, for Cole to leave him alone.

He had been shocked to realize it was his father; confused, too. It didn't make sense to him. Why was his father watching over him? And why would anyone else be worried about him? They hadn't wanted anything to do with him before Cole had taken him. What had changed? Why?

When he surfaced the second time, he could hear them talking, their voices mixing in a quiet cacophony that soothed him. Lassiter, his father, Gus…and Juliet.

It still didn't make any sense to him, but he was willing to accept their company for as long as they were willing to offer it.

He felt fingers brush across his face, softly, gently. _Jules…_ His heart jumped. The last time she had touched him, it had been in anger. But not this time.

He had thought he would never see her again.

He wanted to see her now, but he was afraid. What if she _was _angry still, and was just letting pity soften her reaction to him? And who was to say that wasn't what had happened with the others, too?

That didn't matter right now. He _needed_ to see her. He forced his eyelids open, waiting for his eyes to focus. When they did, it was to see her smiling gently at him, no trace of anger _or _pity on her face.

"Hey there, sleepyhead. We've been waiting for you to wake up," She said softly.

He tore his eyes away from her to see Lassiter, then Gus and his father. None of them looked angry... He returned his gaze to Juliet, finding it difficult to look away from her. "Jules…" Vaguely, he noticed the others were leaving the room to give them privacy. He saw her hand move to continue its soothing journey across his face, and his gaze caught on the ring sitting on her hand. An involuntary smile crossed his face.

_He had really messed up this time. Juliet was not happy with him. He needed to fix it, but he was out of money._ _All of his funds were currently going to a very expensive purchase for her, which left him with few options. Hopefully, she would appreciate this gesture._

_He knocked on her door, getting down on one knee, his present held up for her to see. The door slowly opened to a still-angry Juliet, and he held his surprise up a little higher, shaking it slightly and making it rattle._

"_What are you doing?" She asked, crossing her arms._

"_I'm really sorry. Please forgive me?" He shook his present again, a smile twitching his lips when he saw her roll her eyes._

_She took the cheap plastic container from his hand, popped the lid, and took out a ring. She looked from it back to Shawn, shaking her head. "Usually, when a guy is trying to apologize, he buys flowers or jewelry."_

"_I got you a ring!" He defended himself._

"_From the quarter machine. I don't think that really counts."_

_He let his tongue rest against his top lip as he judged her mood. When he saw the sparkle in her eyes, he knew he was safe. "If it helps, it took me four or five times to find a ring I liked, so it's more like a dollar twenty-five."_

_She laughed, slipping the ring on her finger and then pulling him to his feet. "I forgive you," She said, giving him a kiss._

His hand reached out to capture her hand, his finger rubbing lightly against the cheap ring she wore. "I…was sure I bought…something a little more expensive," He said, wondering if he was pushing his luck just by mentioning the other ring. Wasn't it enough to know that she was here?

"You did. And when you're better and are ready to do so…you can give it to me."

He swallowed, stunned by the absolute honesty in her expression and her voice. She…she really meant that. For some reason, she still wanted to be with him. He was too tired to figure out why, or even to question her over her change of heart. He was starting to fade again, but he rallied his strength, needing to do something before he drifted off to sleep again.

He slipped the ring from her finger and held it up to her. "Forgive me?"

He held his breath until she took the ring and placed it back on her finger.

"I do," She said.

The words were a soothing balm to his damaged emotions, and he sighed in relief.

"Do you forgive me?"

He forced his drooping eyes open to answer her. "Nothing to forgive."

"Of course you would say that," She said, as she leaned forward to press her lips gently against his. "I love you," She said when she pulled away.

He blinked, a surprised smile curving his lips. He would never be able to explain the joy those three words gave him. "Love you, too…"

He closed his eyes, letting himself drift off again as Gus, Lassiter, and his father walked back into the room. He listened to them talk and felt something inside of him start to relax. He didn't know what was going to happen tomorrow; but for today, for this moment, they were here with him, supporting him.

And for now…that was enough.

* * *

AN: If you're interested, I am trying to plan out a sequel to this story. I would love to hear your thoughts on this last chapter or the story as a whole. Again, thank you so much!


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